Texas: Guaranteed Success

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Operator Record
Guaranteed Success
Texas icon.png

Who knew there'd come a day when you deliver to the losers?

Unlock conditions

Mafioso icon.png
Mafia Boss
Carefree Lungmen Citizen
Irritated Lungmen Citizen
Lungmen Highway
Lungmen City Night
Lungmen Uptown Night
Texas needs to deliver a package from the Rat King to a bunch of old friends.
<Background 1>
Penguin Logistics Lungmen Crib
[Exusiai and Texas, hanging out at P.L.'s "crib" in Lungmen, are playing a video game, but the Sankta is losing.]
Exusiai Eh? Ehhh? Now this isn't right!
Texas You lost.
Exusiai I'm done. This is no fun. You win every time.
Texas Alright.
Exusiai Why don't we watch a movie instead.
Want any snacks?
Texas The usual.
Exusiai You got it.
[Exusiai fetched some biscuits for her and Texas to eat.]
Exusiai Here, your favorite biscuits.
Texas Thanks.
<Background fades out and in>
[Exusiai and Texas are watching what appears to be a "Lungmen action movie".]
Exusiai Hmm... The explosion in this scene isn't quite up to snuff. It's nowhere as good as what I put together back in school.
The Ursus actress playing the lead looks kinda familiar though...
Texas Yeah.
Exusiai Hmm? You blew stuff up before too?
Texas You could say that.
Exusiai Huh, how come you never told me about it. What's the story?
Texas It's not worth talking about.
Exusiai Come on, tell me. I promise I won't tell anyone.
Did you blow up a school? An assembly hall? Something else, hm?
Texas I think it was a tower...
Exusiai You blew up a tower?!
Texas Yeah, a tower. A leaning tower, to be precise.
It was kinda... a landmark there.
Exusiai Whoa, I bet you didn't get out of that one easy.
Texas I did it for the Family.
Not like you, still blowing things up left and right even after you were reprimanded.
Exusiai Oh, about that.
School's meant to be fun. Of course I had to do the most fun thing I could possibly do.
Besides, I don't actually want to get anything blown up. It's just...
Texas Just what?
Exusiai I have these little accidents whenever I'm pulling my pranks...
Let's take that one time with Mostima for example.
I was just going to give her a little scare.
Texas Scare who? Mostima?
Exusiai Yeah, we went to the same school, and she was a real model student. She would give these speeches...
And so this one time, I installed a little spring platform on the way up to the podium, and, uh...
Texas She got sprung right up?
Exusiai Of course not. She leaped over it and got through without a scratch.
The other girl who was right behind her wasn't so lucky, though.[note 1]
Texas What does that have to do with blowing stuff up?
Exusiai I'm getting to that.
I guess you wouldn't know, but, in Laterano, we carry guns and live rounds to these events as a show of respect.
And, well, it just so happens that girl was carrying a heavy weapon.
I'm not sure if she did that out of instinct or experience, but she fired her weapon to propel herself and land safely.
The thing is, there was a load-bearing column where she shot her grenade, so that blew open a corner of the assembly hall.
Texas Were you really just playing a prank?
Exusiai I was! I didn't mean to at all!
Texas ...
Hah... If you dared pull something like that in Siracusa, you would've been killed the very next day.
Getting your head chopped off is the best deal. You hardly feel any pain that way.
If you embarrass somebody in public, things won't be as easy.
You might get your hands and legs chopped off, gagged, and tossed in the river–
Exusiai Eek!
Texas –They might even fish you out just to hang your corpse up on the streetcorner to warn anyone who might come up with a funny idea like you.
Exusiai Hahaha...
You're kidding, right...?
Texas I'm not.
Exusiai Stop scaring me... I didn't know better when I was still in school. I wouldn't dare do anything like that these days!
Texas Oh?
Exusiai I'm a hardworking girl nowadays. You won't find me giving anyone any trouble.
It's just... sometimes... Uh...
I kinda wanna do something just to pull a prank on the boss. What do you think?
Texas Considering how destructive your pranks get, I suggest you–
Oh... Bo–
[Emperor jumped out of nowhere and slapped Exusiai on the face.]
Emperor Hyah!
Exusiai Ah!
Who just slapped–
Oh, hey, Boss. You're early today. Ahaha...
Emperor What? I got nothin' else to do, might as well check on my girls.
Exusiai Turns out we don't have any work now either. Haha.
Emperor No work? Here's something for you, then.
[Emperor browses through a list of orders until he found one particular order.]
Emperor Aha, here we go.
Get your ass movin' and deliver this for me.
Here's the address.
Exusiai Hmm...
Alright, I got it. I'm leaving now.
Emperor Texas, you go too. It's from the stinkin' old rat. You know what a pain that crusty-ass mouse is.
Texas Got it...
Emperor Come back quick. The vinyls those bitches owe me are gonna be here soon. You two are haulin' that shit for me.
Texas Alright.
Exusiai You can count on us!
<Background 2>
Exusiai Ugh, why is there a traffic jam at this time of the day?
It doesn't make sense.
Did the guys from that other company crash their street racers again?
Eh, Texas, you've been spacing out the whole time. Something on your mind?
Texas (Going by the address, this package is for the Siracusan mafia we ran into last time.)
(But they don't work for the Rat King anymore. Why does he want us to deliver their packages?)
Exusiai T–e–x–a–s–
Texas Huh?! What's wrong? An ambush?!
Exusiai Nothing but cars here. No room for an ambush.
Texas Sorry...
Exusiai Hmm...
Texas, is this package for those guys in black we beat up a few months ago?
Texas How'd you figure?
Exusiai I mean, we're in logistics. We catch wind of lots of things on the job.
Whenever I deliver to that area, it's usually Lupos signing for the goods.
Besides, a lot of the people there hang up black hats and black jackets at home. It's not hard to tell.
Pretty sure they're the only ones in Lungmen who dress like that.
Texas Yeah.
Exusiai Eh, Texas.
Texas Hm?
Exusiai Speaking of the mafia, I'm curious.
Did you used to dress like that in Siracusa?
Black suit and white shirt?
Texas No, I wore a white tux and red shirt.
Exusiai Hm... That sounds like it could look pretty good.
So you didn't dress up like everyone else?
Texas No, I didn't.
Exusiai What a maverick.
Texas It's something the Family's key members have to do to make our power and authority known. We dressed differently from your normal Lupo lackeys.
Exusiai Doesn't that make you really stand out, though? Especially when everyone's wearing all black.
You sure no one's going to just–
Off you from a distance like that?
Texas ...
Most mafia bosses are concerned about safety. They'll always have someone from the Family watching potential sniper nests.
But if something like that does actually happen...
I'll slice the bolts in half myself.
Then I'll go full damnatio memoriae on their Family. Wipe the name from Siracusa.
Exusiai Uhh...
Texas Or should I say that's what I would've done?
These days... I guess it doesn't really matter anymore.
It's the boss's problem to figure out how to take care of our rivals.
All we have to do is deliver things where we're told, and maybe fight a few fights on the way. That's it.
Exusiai You have a point. Yeah, you're right.
Say, how long has this traffic jam been going?
Texas Half an hour?
Exusiai This isn't going to work out if we don't get moving soon.
Look, the driver next to us is yelling at someone already.
Irritated Lungmen Citizen (Slams the horn repeatedly)
(Lowers the car's window)
Hey, frickin' puk gaai,[note 2] get a move on already!
Carefree Lungmen Citizen What's the rush, buddy? I'm stuck here myself.
Look around you. We're all in this together.
Irritated Lungmen Citizen Yiu ah nei![note 3] If my deal gets called off, I'm gonna sau nei pei![note 4]
Carefree Lungmen Citizen Dai lo,[note 5] I'm trying to get home to the wife too, but this is a traffic jam. Ain't no one to blame for that.
If waiting for the cars to move ain't up to your taste, why don't we play some cards?
Maybe listen to the radio. News has been interesting lately.
Irritated Lungmen Citizen You !#~%
Texas (Tunes radio to the traffic channel)
Traffic Broadcast According to reports, two vehicles were involved in a crash on the city beltway. By the time the L.G.D. has arrived on scene, the drivers had already left the scene of the accident.
The police are currently interviewing witnesses for descriptions of the drivers and moving the vehicles off the road. All lanes of the beltway should be open again very soon.
Next up, we have another traffic report–
Exusiai That sounds kinda familiar, doesn't it, Texas?
Maybe we should check up on our buddies?
Texas ...
(Tunes radio channel)
Hello, do you copy?
[Nobody answers the call, but sounds of objects breaking can be heard in the radio's background, before...]
??? Howdy doo, Texas?
Texas Croissant, what's going on?
(Sounds of bolts flying around)
Croissant We're gettin' robbed!
Texas Did your car break down?
Croissant Purdy sure, but I reckon we'n fix 'er up.
Now don't you go snitchin' on me to the baws. Wanna keep my bonus fer the month, thank'yee.
Texas ...
Got it.
Well, I won't keep you. See you tonight.
[Texas ends the call.]
Exusiai I thought I was the only one who'd do that.
Texas You seem to do pretty well too.
Exusiai That's cause–
[Texas punches Exusiai.]
Exusiai Ow!
Texas Hmph...
If this traffic jam doesn't let up soon, Boss isn't going to be happy.
Exusiai, I'll take the package and go on ahead. Come as soon as the highway opens up.
Exusiai Maybe I should handle the delivery.
Texas Do you know what to say when you greet the mafia men?
Exusiai Something like, "Penguin Logistics, delivery–"
Texas If you try to do that, it'll end up just as bad as that one night.
Exusiai It's a fight. I'm not scared of them.
Texas Are you sure about that? They're our customers this time.
If you are planning on beating them up and then having them sign for the package, I will say nothing more.
Exusiai Oh... right...
Texas And that's why it's better that I go.
At the very least, they are terrified of the name "Texas," and that will smooth most things over.
Here's the key.
Exusiai The key? What key?
You want me to drive?!
Texas Just for the time being.
I'll drive on the way back.
Exusiai Alright!
Texas Don't crash the car. Got it?
Exusiai You can trust me to handle anything!
Texas And I just don't...
Never mind.
I'll see you later.
[Texas rushes off to deliver the package, but in her haste, she forgot to take her swords with her.]
Exusiai Hm? How come Texas left her sword in the car?
<Background 3>
Lungmen Markets
[Texas runs through the alleys of Lungmen.]
Texas (Taking this alley should save me some time.)
(I'm almost to Kang Chai Street.)
(No. 8. Looks like a big warehouse. This is the place.)
(I hope I'll get to leave as soon as I have this delivered...)
[Texas keeps moving.]
<Background 4>
No. 8, Kang Chai Street, Lungmen Markets
[Texas enters the warehouse and the recipient's address, only for several Siracusan mafiosi to see her.]
Mafioso A Hm?
Mafioso B Texas?!
Mafioso A S-Stop! Not a step further!
Texas (They switched to rubber arrowheads. Looks like they're starting to follow the rules.)
I'm only here for a delivery.
Mafioso B Leave it there. We'll have someone come take it.
Texas I need to deliver it to the addressee and have it signed for. Only then can I leave.
Mafioso A (Whispers) Hey, what should we do?
Mafioso B (Whispers) Let's ask her who it's for first.
Mafioso A We'll call the addressee and have them come out. Gimme the name.
Texas Enrico.
Mafioso A Boss?!
Mafioso B (Whispers) Hey!
Mafioso A Uhh–*Cough*!
Wait here. I'll bring Mr. Enrico out right away.
(Whispers) Hang in there. I'll be back soon.
[The first mafioso runs off to call the mafia's boss.]
Mafioso B ......
Texas ......
Mafioso B T-Texas... ma'am...
Texas Hm?
Mafioso B ......
You don't have any weapons on you, right?
Texas None at all.
Mafioso B You won't pull out an Originium sword and kill us all, will you?
Just like when you offed the whole Conte Family?
Texas You know the rules here. Lungmen's rules.
Mafioso B Right. Yes, you're right.
(Phew, thank goodness...)
[Several minutes later...]
Mafioso A Mr. Enrico, this way.
[The mafia boss, Enrico, shows up.]
Mafia Boss I'm Enrico, Signora[note 6] Texas.
I heard you have something for me.
Texas That's right. A delivery.
It's from the Rat King. Please sign for it.
Mafia Boss Rat King?
Alright. Let me see it.
(Opens the package)
Yes, this is from the Rat King.
Where do I sign?
Texas Right here. On the bottom right.
Mafia Boss Very well–Here.
Texas Now then–
Mafia Boss Please spare me a moment, Signora Texas.
Texas That's a title for the Family leadership back in Siracusa, not me.
Call me Texas.
Mafia Boss Right, sure, Texas.
As you can see, it has been years since my brothers and I came here to Lungmen.
A while ago, Capone and Gambino got themselves pushed out of the city... they challenged the authority here, and got what came to them. That got me pushed up to lead the Family.
I want to ask your advice. If you would, please come inside for a chat.
Texas I'm afraid I don't have much advice for you.
Mafia Boss I'm all ears.
Texas Will you and your brothers ever go back to Siracusa?
Mafia Boss Hoh, we'll most likely stay here in Lungmen.
There is nothing waiting for us in Siracusa. Just the Sicilian bosslady's henchmen waiting to kill us.
Texas In that case, you might want to give up on living like a Siracusan.
Try to live like a Lungmenite.
Mafia Boss Hmm...
Texas I'm sure you know much better than anyone else whether fights between families work here.
Whether you are from Higashi, Ursus, or Siracusa, if you want to settle down here, there is only one way.
Be a Lungmenite.
You aren't the first ones to come here, and you won't be the last.
Gang members come and go. In the end, the only ones that will remain are Lungmenite.
That's all I'm going to tell you.
Mafia Boss ......
Texas Hm?
Mafia Boss Are you a Lungmenite?
Texas ...
[Texas leaves.]
Texas But I will go back one day.
[The mafiosi are left speechless after listening to what Texas had said.]
Mafia Boss ......
Mafia Boss What's that sound...?
Is it coming from the box?
<Background 5>
[Texas meets up with Exusiai in Lungmen's uptown.]
Exusiai Hey, done already?
Texas Yeah.
Exusiai I thought you'd be back by the time the road opened.
Texas We had a little chat.
Exusiai I didn't know you knew how to make conversation.
Texas I was just trying to keep them from giving the boss any more trouble. That's all.
Exusiai Really? Sounds like they're pretty amenable.
But, eh, look behind you. What's with these guys running outside?
Like, they're coming after you, aren't they? They don't seem very friendly to me.
Texas There's a small problem...
I heard a noise when I was leaving. Looks like the boss made... a few modifications before handing the package over to us.
Exusiai What do we do now? Fight them?
Texas Fight them? Just go!
This entire neighborhood is full of mafiosos. Do you want the boss to dock your pay for another car?
Exusiai Oh, right.
Texas Give me the keys. Let's go!
[Texas starts the car and floors it before the mafiosi could reach them.]
<Background 1>
Emperor Haah–
Eurill's a bigass cow, but he knows his wine, I'll give him that.
Once we're done with the vinyls, Imma get a few more crates from him.
[Someone walks into the crib...]
Emperor Took your sweet time, didn't you? The vinyl damn near grew legs and walked up here.
[...who turned out to be Texas.]
Texas Wasn't the package for the mafia from the Rat King?
Emperor Yeah, it's the crusty rat's goods. I made a few tweaks to it.
Those bitches in black think they can get away with blowing up my vinyl collection?
They gonna think again.
So, Texas, did the punks freak when they heard me rappin' after that countdown?
Texas None at all.
Emperor They didn't? No way!
I wrote this one special for those clowns. Even grabbed me a random Lupo off the street and tried it out on him before hittin' the booth. He didn't last five seconds.
Texas Your rap didn't knock them out. Actually, they started chasing us after a few verses.
We drove all across Lungmen for the better part of the day just to get away from them.
Emperor Gotta be your problem.
I figured your average delivery time and worked it into the plan.
I had a few extra minutes of nothin' in there when I was recording and then gave that delay button a few taps just to give you two time to get away.
Oh, I got it.
Did that Lupo ask you something 'cause of your name again?
Texas ......
Emperor See, I thought of that. You see how my mind works?
They got no idea. I prepped that warm-up just for them.
After a wild, intense chase, they go home and listen to this badass tape.
A l'il angry, and a l'il pissed.
This is gonna keep them out of breath and snuff 'em out.
Wei said no bullets, but he didn't say nothing about no rapping.
Texas Uhh...
Emperor Now back to work. Carry those vinyls for me.
Texas Yes, Boss...
Emperor Where's Exusiai?
Texas She's reloading her rubber bullets.
Emperor Tell her to get a move on. The vinyls ain't waiting.
Texas Right...
[Texas goes to resume another day of working for P.L..]


  1. Due to a writing oversight, this dialogue is spoken by Texas in-game; given the context, it would be more appropriately spoken by Exusiai.
  2. Hanzi: 踣街 or 仆街; Jyutping: pūk gāai, a Cantonese profanity that literally means "drop dead" and is roughly synonymous to "asshole" or "shithead"
  3. Roughly "Motherf**ker!" in Cantonese
  4. Roughly "shut your (f**king) mouth (up)" in Cantonese
  5. Hanzi: 大佬, Cantonese for "big brother" ("big bro" in this context)
  6. "Ms." or "Madam" in Italian