Texas: Guaranteed Success
< Texas
Operator Record Guaranteed Success |
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Who knew there'd come a day when you deliver to the losers? Unlock conditions
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Characters |
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![]() Mafia Boss Carefree Lungmen Citizen Irritated Lungmen Citizen Mafioso |
Backgrounds |
<Background 1> | |
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Penguin Logistics Lungmen Crib | |
[Exusiai and Texas, hanging out at P.L.'s "crib" in Lungmen, are playing a video game, but the Sankta is losing.] | |
Exusiai | Eh? Ehhh? Now this isn't right! |
Texas | You lost. |
Exusiai | I'm done. This is no fun. You win every time. |
Texas | Alright. |
Exusiai | Why don't we watch a movie instead. Want any snacks? |
Texas | The usual. |
Exusiai | You got it. |
[Exusiai fetched some biscuits for her and Texas to eat.] | |
Exusiai | Here, your favorite biscuits. |
Texas | Thanks. |
<Background fades out and in> | |
[Exusiai and Texas are watching what appears to be a "Lungmen action movie".] | |
Exusiai | Hmm... The explosion in this scene isn't quite up to snuff. It's nowhere as good as what I put together back in school. The Ursus actress playing the lead looks kinda familiar though... |
Texas | Yeah. |
Exusiai | Hmm? You blew stuff up before too? |
Texas | You could say that. |
Exusiai | Huh, how come you never told me about it. What's the story? |
Texas | It's not worth talking about. |
Exusiai | Come on, tell me. I promise I won't tell anyone. Did you blow up a school? An assembly hall? Something else, hm? |
Texas | I think it was a tower... |
Exusiai | You blew up a tower?! |
Texas | Yeah, a tower. A leaning tower, to be precise. It was kinda... a landmark there. |
Exusiai | Whoa, I bet you didn't get out of that one easy. |
Texas | I did it for the Family. Not like you, still blowing things up left and right even after you were reprimanded. |
Exusiai | Oh, about that. School's meant to be fun. Of course I had to do the most fun thing I could possibly do. Besides, I don't actually want to get anything blown up. It's just... |
Texas | Just what? |
Exusiai | I have these little accidents whenever I'm pulling my pranks... Let's take that one time with Mostima for example. I was just going to give her a little scare. |
Texas | Scare who? Mostima? |
Exusiai | Yeah, we went to the same school, and she was a real model student. She would give these speeches... And so this one time, I installed a little spring platform on the way up to the podium, and, uh... |
Texas | She got sprung right up? |
Exusiai | Of course not. She leaped over it and got through without a scratch. The other girl who was right behind her wasn't so lucky, though.[note 1] |
Texas | What does that have to do with blowing stuff up? |
Exusiai | I'm getting to that. I guess you wouldn't know, but, in Laterano, we carry guns and live rounds to these events as a show of respect. And, well, it just so happens that girl was carrying a heavy weapon. I'm not sure if she did that out of instinct or experience, but she fired her weapon to propel herself and land safely. The thing is, there was a load-bearing column where she shot her grenade, so that blew open a corner of the assembly hall. |
Texas | Were you really just playing a prank? |
Exusiai | I was! I didn't mean to at all! |
Texas | ... Hah... If you dared pull something like that in Siracusa, you would've been killed the very next day. Getting your head chopped off is the best deal. You hardly feel any pain that way. If you embarrass somebody in public, things won't be as easy. You might get your hands and legs chopped off, gagged, and tossed in the river– |
Exusiai | Eek! |
Texas | –They might even fish you out just to hang your corpse up on the streetcorner to warn anyone who might come up with a funny idea like you. |
Exusiai | Hahaha... You're kidding, right...? |
Texas | I'm not. |
Exusiai | Stop scaring me... I didn't know better when I was still in school. I wouldn't dare do anything like that these days! |
Texas | Oh? |
Exusiai | I'm a hardworking girl nowadays. You won't find me giving anyone any trouble. It's just... sometimes... Uh... I kinda wanna do something just to pull a prank on the boss. What do you think? |
Texas | Considering how destructive your pranks get, I suggest you– Oh... Bo– |
[Emperor jumped out of nowhere and slapped Exusiai on the face.] | |
Emperor | Hyah! |
Exusiai | Ah! Who just slapped– Oh, hey, Boss. You're early today. Ahaha... |
Emperor | What? I got nothin' else to do, might as well check on my girls. |
Exusiai | Turns out we don't have any work now either. Haha. |
Emperor | No work? Here's something for you, then. |
[Emperor browses through a list of orders until he found one particular order.] | |
Emperor | Aha, here we go. Get your ass movin' and deliver this for me. Here's the address. |
Exusiai | Hmm... Alright, I got it. I'm leaving now. |
Emperor | Texas, you go too. It's from the stinkin' old rat. You know what a pain that crusty-ass mouse is. |
Texas | Got it... |
Emperor | Come back quick. The vinyls those bitches owe me are gonna be here soon. You two are haulin' that shit for me. |
Texas | Alright. |
Exusiai | You can count on us! |
<Background 2> | |
Exusiai | Ugh, why is there a traffic jam at this time of the day? It doesn't make sense. Did the guys from that other company crash their street racers again? Eh, Texas, you've been spacing out the whole time. Something on your mind? ...... Texas? |
Texas | (Going by the address, this package is for the Siracusan mafia we ran into last time.) (But they don't work for the Rat King anymore. Why does he want us to deliver their packages?) |
Exusiai | T–e–x–a–s– |
Texas | Huh?! What's wrong? An ambush?! |
Exusiai | Nothing but cars here. No room for an ambush. |
Texas | Sorry... |
Exusiai | Hmm... Texas, is this package for those guys in black we beat up a few months ago? |
Texas | How'd you figure? |
Exusiai | I mean, we're in logistics. We catch wind of lots of things on the job. Whenever I deliver to that area, it's usually Lupos signing for the goods. Besides, a lot of the people there hang up black hats and black jackets at home. It's not hard to tell. Pretty sure they're the only ones in Lungmen who dress like that. |
Texas | Yeah. |
Exusiai | Eh, Texas. |
Texas | Hm? |
Exusiai | Speaking of the mafia, I'm curious. Did you used to dress like that in Siracusa? Black suit and white shirt? |
Texas | No, I wore a white tux and red shirt. |
Exusiai | Hm... That sounds like it could look pretty good. So you didn't dress up like everyone else? |
Texas | No, I didn't. |
Exusiai | What a maverick. |
Texas | It's something the Family's key members have to do to make our power and authority known. We dressed differently from your normal Lupo lackeys. |
Exusiai | Doesn't that make you really stand out, though? Especially when everyone's wearing all black. You sure no one's going to just– Bang! Off you from a distance like that? |
Texas | ... Most mafia bosses are concerned about safety. They'll always have someone from the Family watching potential sniper nests. But if something like that does actually happen... I'll slice the bolts in half myself. Then I'll go full damnatio memoriae on their Family. Wipe the name from Siracusa. |
Exusiai | Uhh... |
Texas | Or should I say that's what I would've done? These days... I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. It's the boss's problem to figure out how to take care of our rivals. All we have to do is deliver things where we're told, and maybe fight a few fights on the way. That's it. |
Exusiai | You have a point. Yeah, you're right. Say, how long has this traffic jam been going? |
Texas | Half an hour? |
Exusiai | This isn't going to work out if we don't get moving soon. Look, the driver next to us is yelling at someone already. |
Irritated Lungmen Citizen | (Slams the horn repeatedly) (Lowers the car's window) Hey, frickin' puk gaai,[note 2] get a move on already! |
Carefree Lungmen Citizen | What's the rush, buddy? I'm stuck here myself. Look around you. We're all in this together. |
Irritated Lungmen Citizen | Yiu ah nei![note 3] If my deal gets called off, I'm gonna sau nei pei![note 4] |
Carefree Lungmen Citizen | Dai lo,[note 5] I'm trying to get home to the wife too, but this is a traffic jam. Ain't no one to blame for that. If waiting for the cars to move ain't up to your taste, why don't we play some cards? Maybe listen to the radio. News has been interesting lately. |
Irritated Lungmen Citizen | You !#~% |
Texas | (Tunes radio to the traffic channel) |
Traffic Broadcast | According to reports, two vehicles were involved in a crash on the city beltway. By the time the L.G.D. has arrived on scene, the drivers had already left the scene of the accident. The police are currently interviewing witnesses for descriptions of the drivers and moving the vehicles off the road. All lanes of the beltway should be open again very soon. Next up, we have another traffic report– |
Exusiai | That sounds kinda familiar, doesn't it, Texas? Maybe we should check up on our buddies? |
Texas | ... (Tunes radio channel) Hello, do you copy? |
[Nobody answers the call, but sounds of objects breaking can be heard in the radio's background, before...] | |
??? | Howdy doo, Texas? |
Texas | Croissant, what's going on? |
(Sounds of bolts flying around) | |
Croissant | We're gettin' robbed! |
Texas | Did your car break down? |
Croissant | Purdy sure, but I reckon we'n fix 'er up. Now don't you go snitchin' on me to the baws. Wanna keep my bonus fer the month, thank'yee. |
Texas | ... Got it. Well, I won't keep you. See you tonight. |
[Texas ends the call.] | |
Exusiai | I thought I was the only one who'd do that. |
Texas | You seem to do pretty well too. |
Exusiai | That's cause– |
[Texas punches Exusiai.] | |
Exusiai | Ow! |
Texas | Hmph... If this traffic jam doesn't let up soon, Boss isn't going to be happy. Exusiai, I'll take the package and go on ahead. Come as soon as the highway opens up. |
Exusiai | Maybe I should handle the delivery. |
Texas | Do you know what to say when you greet the mafia men? |
Exusiai | Something like, "Penguin Logistics, delivery–" |
Texas | If you try to do that, it'll end up just as bad as that one night. |
Exusiai | It's a fight. I'm not scared of them. |
Texas | Are you sure about that? They're our customers this time. If you are planning on beating them up and then having them sign for the package, I will say nothing more. |
Exusiai | Oh... right... |
Texas | And that's why it's better that I go. At the very least, they are terrified of the name "Texas," and that will smooth most things over. Here's the key. |
Exusiai | The key? What key? You want me to drive?! |
Texas | Just for the time being. I'll drive on the way back. |
Exusiai | Alright! |
Texas | Don't crash the car. Got it? |
Exusiai | You can trust me to handle anything! |
Texas | And I just don't... *Sigh*... Never mind. I'll see you later. |
[Texas rushes off to deliver the package, but in her haste, she forgot to take her swords with her.] | |
Exusiai | Hm? How come Texas left her sword in the car? |
<Background 3> | |
Lungmen Markets | |
[Texas runs through the alleys of Lungmen.] | |
Texas | (Taking this alley should save me some time.) (I'm almost to Kang Chai Street.) (No. 8. Looks like a big warehouse. This is the place.) (......) (I hope I'll get to leave as soon as I have this delivered...) |
[Texas keeps moving.] | |
<Background 4> | |
No. 8, Kang Chai Street, Lungmen Markets | |
[Texas enters the warehouse and the recipient's address, only for several Siracusan mafiosi to see her.] | |
Mafioso A | Hm? |
Mafioso B | Texas?! |
Mafioso A | S-Stop! Not a step further! |
Texas | (They switched to rubber arrowheads. Looks like they're starting to follow the rules.) I'm only here for a delivery. |
Mafioso B | Leave it there. We'll have someone come take it. |
Texas | I need to deliver it to the addressee and have it signed for. Only then can I leave. |
Mafioso A | (Whispers) Hey, what should we do? |
Mafioso B | (Whispers) Let's ask her who it's for first. |
Mafioso A | We'll call the addressee and have them come out. Gimme the name. |
Texas | Enrico. |
Mafioso A | Boss?! |
Mafioso B | (Whispers) Hey! |
Mafioso A | Uhh–*Cough*! Wait here. I'll bring Mr. Enrico out right away. (Whispers) Hang in there. I'll be back soon. |
[The first mafioso runs off to call the mafia's boss.] | |
Mafioso B | ...... |
Texas | ...... |
Mafioso B | T-Texas... ma'am... |
Texas | Hm? |
Mafioso B | ...... You don't have any weapons on you, right? |
Texas | None at all. |
Mafioso B | You won't pull out an Originium sword and kill us all, will you? Just like when you offed the whole Conte Family? |
Texas | You know the rules here. Lungmen's rules. |
Mafioso B | Right. Yes, you're right. (Phew, thank goodness...) |
[Several minutes later...] | |
Mafioso A | Mr. Enrico, this way. |
[The mafia boss, Enrico, shows up.] | |
Mafia Boss | I'm Enrico, Signora[note 6] Texas. I heard you have something for me. |
Texas | That's right. A delivery. It's from the Rat King. Please sign for it. |
Mafia Boss | Rat King? Alright. Let me see it. (Opens the package) My... Yes, this is from the Rat King. Where do I sign? |
Texas | Right here. On the bottom right. |
Mafia Boss | Very well–Here. |
Texas | Now then– |
Mafia Boss | Please spare me a moment, Signora Texas. |
Texas | That's a title for the Family leadership back in Siracusa, not me. Call me Texas. |
Mafia Boss | Right, sure, Texas. As you can see, it has been years since my brothers and I came here to Lungmen. A while ago, Capone and Gambino got themselves pushed out of the city... they challenged the authority here, and got what came to them. That got me pushed up to lead the Family. I want to ask your advice. If you would, please come inside for a chat. |
Texas | I'm afraid I don't have much advice for you. |
Mafia Boss | I'm all ears. |
Texas | Will you and your brothers ever go back to Siracusa? |
Mafia Boss | Hoh, we'll most likely stay here in Lungmen. There is nothing waiting for us in Siracusa. Just the Sicilian bosslady's henchmen waiting to kill us. |
Texas | In that case, you might want to give up on living like a Siracusan. Try to live like a Lungmenite. |
Mafia Boss | Hmm... |
Texas | I'm sure you know much better than anyone else whether fights between families work here. Whether you are from Higashi, Ursus, or Siracusa, if you want to settle down here, there is only one way. Be a Lungmenite. You aren't the first ones to come here, and you won't be the last. Gang members come and go. In the end, the only ones that will remain are Lungmenite. That's all I'm going to tell you. Farewell. |
Mafia Boss | ...... Texas. |
Texas | Hm? |
Mafia Boss | Are you a Lungmenite? |
Texas | ... Maybe. |
[Texas leaves.] | |
Texas | But I will go back one day. |
[The mafiosi are left speechless after listening to what Texas had said.] | |
Mafia Boss | ...... |
*Rattle* *Beep*–*beep*–! | |
Mafia Boss | What's that sound...? Is it coming from the box? |
<Background 5> | |
[Texas meets up with Exusiai in Lungmen's uptown.] | |
Exusiai | Hey, done already? |
Texas | Yeah. |
Exusiai | I thought you'd be back by the time the road opened. |
Texas | We had a little chat. |
Exusiai | I didn't know you knew how to make conversation. |
Texas | I was just trying to keep them from giving the boss any more trouble. That's all. |
Exusiai | Really? Sounds like they're pretty amenable. But, eh, look behind you. What's with these guys running outside? Like, they're coming after you, aren't they? They don't seem very friendly to me. |
Texas | There's a small problem... I heard a noise when I was leaving. Looks like the boss made... a few modifications before handing the package over to us. |
Exusiai | What do we do now? Fight them? |
Texas | Fight them? Just go! This entire neighborhood is full of mafiosos. Do you want the boss to dock your pay for another car? |
Exusiai | Oh, right. |
Texas | Give me the keys. Let's go! |
[Texas starts the car and floors it before the mafiosi could reach them.] | |
<Background 1> | |
Emperor | Haah– Eurill's a bigass cow, but he knows his wine, I'll give him that. Once we're done with the vinyls, Imma get a few more crates from him. |
[Someone walks into the crib...] | |
Emperor | Took your sweet time, didn't you? The vinyl damn near grew legs and walked up here. |
[...who turned out to be Texas.] | |
Texas | Wasn't the package for the mafia from the Rat King? |
Emperor | Yeah, it's the crusty rat's goods. I made a few tweaks to it. Those bitches in black think they can get away with blowing up my vinyl collection? They gonna think again. So, Texas, did the punks freak when they heard me rappin' after that countdown? |
Texas | None at all. |
Emperor | They didn't? No way! I wrote this one special for those clowns. Even grabbed me a random Lupo off the street and tried it out on him before hittin' the booth. He didn't last five seconds. |
Texas | Your rap didn't knock them out. Actually, they started chasing us after a few verses. We drove all across Lungmen for the better part of the day just to get away from them. |
Emperor | Gotta be your problem. I figured your average delivery time and worked it into the plan. I had a few extra minutes of nothin' in there when I was recording and then gave that delay button a few taps just to give you two time to get away. Oh, I got it. Did that Lupo ask you something 'cause of your name again? |
Texas | ...... |
Emperor | See, I thought of that. You see how my mind works? They got no idea. I prepped that warm-up just for them. After a wild, intense chase, they go home and listen to this badass tape. A l'il angry, and a l'il pissed. This is gonna keep them out of breath and snuff 'em out. Wei said no bullets, but he didn't say nothing about no rapping. Ahahahahaha. |
Texas | Uhh... |
Emperor | Now back to work. Carry those vinyls for me. |
Texas | Yes, Boss... |
Emperor | Where's Exusiai? |
Texas | She's reloading her rubber bullets. |
Emperor | Tell her to get a move on. The vinyls ain't waiting. |
Texas | Right... |
[Texas goes to resume another day of working for P.L..] |
Notes
- ↑ Due to a writing oversight, this dialogue is spoken by Texas in-game; given the context, it would be more appropriately spoken by Exusiai.
- ↑ Hanzi: 踣街 or 仆街; Jyutping: pūk gāai, a Cantonese profanity that literally means "drop dead" and is roughly synonymous to "asshole" or "shithead"
- ↑ Roughly "Motherf**ker!" in Cantonese
- ↑ Roughly "shut your (f**king) mouth (up)" in Cantonese
- ↑ Hanzi: 大佬, Cantonese for "big brother" ("big bro" in this context)
- ↑ "Ms." or "Madam" in Italian