Toddifons: Armor and Crossbow

Operator Record Armor and Crossbow
Never go on a mission without the right teammates.

Unlock conditions

• Raise Toddifons to Elite 2 Level 1.
• Have at least 50% Trust with Toddifons.

Characters

Blaze Eunectes Gavial Toddifons Field Operator Wastelander (Rickety Joe) Wastelander A Wastelander B Agama Gang (Leader) Agama Gang Member

Backgrounds

1 2 3 4 5

“

Hearing there's an abandoned plate she can hit, Toddifons joins in giddy with glee and man-portable siege ballista in tow. However, she only notices upon reaching the mission site that things may not have been quite as she was fancying.

”

<Background 1>
[Toddifons is exhausted...]
Toddifons	...*pant*... *pant*...
[...while Eunectes on Raging Ironhide is fighting Sarkaz gangsters nearby.]
Eunectes	...*huff*... *huff*...
Toddifons	Left!
Eunectes	Ugh!
[Eunectes intercepted a gangster trying to flank her, taking them down.]
Toddifons	Oi, Phidia–
Eunectes	Me and the Raging Ironhide ARE on your left!
Toddifons	I meant, fortcrackers dropping on your left–
[Toddifons fire her bunker-buster Fortcracker bolts at the marauders, the explosion knocking Eunectes off the Ironhide.]
Toddifons	You're in my artillery's way. Phidia, you still alive?
Eunectes	...*cough* *cough*... Seriously, I've never had a fight this difficult before.
Toddifons	You're a real sturdy rotter, aren't you? Yeah, okay, I think it's the explosion just touched you. Not much real damages I can tell. Maybe I should up my fortcracker charges, 20%-some?
Eunectes	Then I'm never going on a mission with you again. Hmm... joint #3's hydraulic systems aren't stable anymore. You're paying for maintenance.
Toddifons	You can't blame me–your mech's horrible for visibility. Honestly, it's only fair I let the siege-ballista do it in one of these days. Should try if we get the chance, really. Ought to blast straight through, I think?
Eunectes	On my pride as a Tiacauh, next intra-department meeting, I'm voting down your budget.
Toddifons	Well, that's a bloody joke! Do you understand the importance of siege weapons?!
Eunectes	My master says Rhodes Island isn't installing siege weapons of any kind. It's not in accordance with our founding principles. But honestly? This giant bow of yours doesn't even count as siege weaponry.
Toddifons	Wha...?! A man-portable siege ballista's still a siege ballista!
Eunectes	It's a bow that doesn't even have an engine.
Toddifons	Bows never HAD engines! And it's a BALLISTA!
Eunectes	Sorry, my tribe's bows had engines.
Toddifons	You want to go, Phidia?
Eunectes	My name's Zumama.
Agama Gang	Hey, we're right here, you know?!
Toddifons & Eunectes	Shut up!
[Eunectes and Toddifons strikes the gangster...]
Agama Gang	Aaargh!
[...knocking them down cold.]
Toddifons	Then let's see if your heaping pile of scrap can take a fortcracker shot for real!
Eunectes	Bring it on!
[Before Eunectes and Toddifons could came into blows, a wastelander approaches them.]
Wastelander	Um... excuse me?
Toddifons	Are you soft? We're busy here.
Wastelander	You two are Rhodes Islanders?
Eunectes	And you are...?
Wastelander	Ah, just to warn you by the way, I think that ballista had its right-side torsion hookup worn out in combat just now. Your accuracy's going to suffer if you keep making it work.
Toddifons	Tch!
Wastelander	The... um... yellow tractor there?
Eunectes	You can call her the Raging Ironhide.
Wastelander	You'd better take a look at the state of her cooling systems. Put that off any longer, and you'll get funny sounds from the engine.
Eunectes	You're right! Thanks, uh...
Wastelander	Call me Rickety Joe. Nice to meet you, Rhodes Islanders.
Rickety Joe	I commissioned this here mission.
<Background 2>
[The wastelander, now known as Rickety Joe, chats with Eunectes and Toddifons.]
Rickety Joe	Is your op unit... just the two of you?
Toddifons	Don't trust our professional ability?
Rickety Joe	Of course I do. Sesa recommended you, after all. Rhodes Island's name... is plenty well-known among wastelanders. But, uh, I have to say, you two are...
Eunectes	Haha... There's definitely been some mishaps...
<Flashback starts here>
<Background 1>
[An R.I. field operator contacts Eunectes and Toddifons...]
Field Operator	Keep traveling for about an hour, and you'll be at the point where intel says the abandoned plate is.
[...before switching the dispatch to Blaze.]
Blaze	Toddifons, Eunectes, how's your equipment checks?
Eunectes	Phew. Just finished loading everything into the truck. The Raging Ironhide's in fine condition. I gave her a total upgrade with my master earlier, and the driver's seat is a lot more comfortable now.
Blaze	Oh, yeah, I haven't seen that weird little Liberi around for this mission...
Eunectes	The High Priest said I can't always count on him to drive. It's my mech, after all.
Blaze	Well, no complaints here, I'll take you driving any day... Everything okay with the siege ballista, Toddifons?
Toddifons	Ugh, classic. The Doctor said there was an abandoned plate I could go hit, so I rock up. And this turns out to be a rescue mission?!
Blaze	You only just now realized?
Toddifons	Hah–I spent three nights in a row up for this mission, rushing a batch of superheavy-duty fortcracker arrows! And you're telling me I'm rescuing the barreners on that stupid plate?!
Blaze	Toddifons... next time, make sure to read the mission brief beforehand? There's a chance hostiles encamped the plate, in which case they've got defenses to counter with. You're good for assaulting fortified positions. That's why I asked the Doc to send you, just in case.
Eunectes	Even if we're taking on an abandoned plate, it still used to be a part of a nomadic city. It's always good to bring heavy arms.
Toddifons	*sigh* Would've gone out to town if I knew. Bloody end me–
Blaze	Apparently these wastelanders have been moving with the nomadic city for a long while, just gritting their teeth waiting for a plate to get scrapped. They were hoping they could breathe easy for a few days with it, and find some supplies in there. Turned out "Mama John's" and the local pasha had a reclamation contract signed already.
Toddifons	Heh. They like to do their business direct. Nothing's changed.
[Blaze is heard in the background...]
Blaze	We'll rendezvous at the Canning intersection. We're coming from southwest...
[...as the field operator answers the dispatch.]
Field Operator	'Scuse me, Blaze. Doesn't visibility seem a little low to you?
Toddifons	Wind's funny...
Field Operator	Abnormal weather up ahead!
Eunectes	We see the sandstorm from our vehicle too!
Toddifons	Tha... That's gathering fast! Get in the truck!
Field Operator	Message from the landship, desert thunderstorm forming rapidly ahead! They'll navigate for us!
[Blaze interrupts the dispatch,]
Blaze	Move move move! We're distancing! Toddifons, Eunectes, find us, stat!
Toddifons	Pedal's to the metal already!
Blaze	Dammit, you're still not gonna make it! Dump your equipment!
Toddifons	......
Eunectes	......
Blaze	There's no time! Dump it!
Toddifons	I'll be real here, I've got no faith in prying a second siege ballista out of Closure's pockets.
Eunectes	We tuned the Raging Ironhide just last week.
Blaze	Can... *zzzt* respond... *zzzt* ...ditch... landship *zzzt*...
Toddifons	Adjusting the guidance system was a pain in the neck.
Eunectes	Engineering's operators put so much blood and sweat into this model revision.
Blaze	...ship...
[The transmission was cut off due to the interference.]
Toddifons	Tch. The line cut out.
Eunectes	There's a cave in the mountains ahead to the left!
Toddifons	Want to gamble, Phidia?
Eunectes	Will it work?
Toddifons	Gauging how wide the truck is? Should be fine.
Eunectes	What about everything else?
Toddifons	That's what makes it a gamble– Hold on tight!
<Flashback ends here>
<Background 2>
[After listening to Eunectes and Toddifons' story...]
Rickety Joe	So that's what you guys call lucky?
Eunectes	We're luckier the storm was small.
Toddifons	We came back out, we bumped into whoever they were–the Agama Gang. Didn't like the process of beating 'em up, if I'm honest. Might've gone smoother if it was just me, actually.
Eunectes	Hey! It was your fault for shooting your arrows everywhere!
Toddifons	I did point out where they were landing. Your fault for dodging too slow.
Eunectes	Why you...
Rickety Joe	We're here. Could've been a moment sooner.
<Background 3>
[A gangster leader threatens a group of wastelanders...]
Agama Gang Leader	Listen up! You're illegally squatting on the property of Resource Reclamation Co., subsidiary of Mama John's. Per Mama John's consumer provisions, we have the right to forcibly evict and counterattack you to a reasonable extent.
[...before firing cannons at them.]
Wastelander A	Sir, we've never done a thing to offend anyone! Eaargh!
Wastelander B	M... Mercy! My kids are still here!
Eunectes	Those bastards...!
Toddifons	I see Originium crystals on their skin. All Infected, basically. Careful, enemy's got artillery-type arms too.
Eunectes	There's fewer wastelanders on the left. I'll penetrate with the Raging Ironhide from that side. That's less accidental casualties.
Toddifons	Alright. Siege ballista erected, preparing to test-fire–
[Toddifons take aim and fire her ballista at the gangsters, but misses.]
Toddifons	Round 1 failed. Adjusting position, elevating 3.2 degrees based on point of impact. Using demolishers for Round 2!
Agama Gang Leader	It's the tough guys HQ told us about! Return fire, return fire, don't let that tractor close in!
Eunectes	I repeat! She's called the Raging Ironhide–
Agama Gang Leader	Don't be stingy with ammo! Fire every last shell on you!
Rickety Joe	Hey, Miss! Careful!
Toddifons	Zumama, brake!
[Zumama dives the Raging Ironhide towards the gangsters while being fired upon.]
Eunectes	Is that all the firepower you've got? Don't underestimate the Engineering Department Mech Group! This is the fruits of our– Uh. Why did she stop?
Toddifons	Zumama, back up! I'll cover fire!
Eunectes	I'm restarting the engine!
Rickety Joe	Miss, your engine's third intake burned out! I've got spare parts! Cover me!
Agama Gang Leader	Final warning! You are impeding execution of a Mama John's contract!
[Toddifons destroyed the gangsters' cannons with an accurate shot from her ballista.]
Agama Gang Member	Shit. Boss, our cannons are out! That redhead girl shoots like every shot's a miracle!
Agama Gang Leader	Zip it, I'll mess that cannoneer up myself. You go take down the snakelet.
Toddifons	Ready to fire demolisher #4!
Agama Gang Leader	Not on my watch!
[The gangster leader charges at Toddifons, forcing her to ditch the ballista to confront him.]
Agama Gang Leader	Hah! I'm taking over here, redhead, your supersize bow's a risk to us all! Stand right there and don't move a muscle!
Toddifons	Well... this gets on my bloody nerves...
Agama Gang Leader	Listen, you hear me? I don't care who you are, or how those wasteland sons of bitches got in contact with you. We're cleaning out the trash here as is lawful and mandated!
Toddifons	Can you show me your contract a tic?
Agama Gang Leader	Hey, look, we ain't no wild brutes, we're resource reclamation practitioners. Resources mean value, means they deserve to be made use of, e.g. the parts and scrap metal here. As for those resources that cannot be reclaimed, we're very sorry, but we will carry out appropriate procedure. I have no personal standing on these wasteland sons of bitches, but the rules are the rules. "Reclaim and exploit: it's the nature of civilization." That's our company motto, plastered on the wall back at the office.
Toddifons	If you'd just been honest and told me you're about survival of the fittest, I could've–maybe–given you some respect.
Agama Gang Leader	Nobody asked you! Time I taught you a lesson!
[The gangster leader attacks Toddifons, but the Vouivre dodged the attack and grab him.]
Agama Gang Leader	Gah!
Toddifons	Now you listen to me. You go massacring and call that "civilization?" You go slitting throats and call that "reclamation?"
Agama Gang Leader	You little bitch! I thought you were artillery, what the hell–gaaah!
[Toddifons throw the gangster leader into the ground.]
Toddifons	That man runs for his life with his bindle and you hound him for fun. That woman tries to save her child and you drag her off by the hair. You're just a bunch of gutless nobodies who happened to find yourself some weapons, looking for anyone who's old or weak or ill or bloody impaired enough to have your fun with.
Agama Gang Leader	Don't you look down on me–
Toddifons	Alright, there's a little spine in you. Survival of the fittest then, fist-to-fist, let's go? Telling you now, the winner here ain't you.
[A fight ensues between Toddifons and the gangster leader, and she managed to take him down in the end.]
Eunectes	You okay, Toddifons?! I'm coming to help!
Rickety Joe	Watch how you ride! I got your hunk of junk moving again, that's it! It's not gonna last!
Toddifons	That's your lot? Just small-fry? Tch. I was narked, but I think I've shaken it off now!
Agama Gang Leader	Shit, we're in too deep! Pull out, pull out!
[Blaze suddenly drops right before the gangsters...]
Blaze	Wow, I bust my ass getting here and it's just over? C'mon, play with me a little.
Agama Gang Leader	Eek–get outta here, run!
[...and they flee in terror.]
<Background fades out and in>
[After the dust settles...]
Blaze	Is that a wrap?
Rickety Joe	Yeah, they partly scrammed. But they mentioned an agreement between Mama John's and the pasha...?
Blaze	Mama John's won't acknowledge it. Still, we've gotta move these wastelanders ASAP. A couple of Infected are in pretty bad condition.
Eunectes	That was pretty risky just now, Toddifons. It's lucky you...
[Toddifons punched Eunectes out of nowhere.]
Eunectes	What are you doing?!
Rickety Joe	Oh, this ballista got its string tension stabilizer sliced off. My guess is it happened when the tractor came in.
Eunectes	...Huh?
Toddifons	Alright, I'm going to hit you this once and you're going to take it!
Eunectes	You busted my hydraulic system earlier!
Toddifons	Eye for an eye!
Rickety Joe	Aren't you gonna do something?
Blaze	...*sigh*.
<Background 2>
[Rickety Joe finishes repairing both the Raging Ironhide and Toddifons' ballista.]
Rickety Joe	Er... that's the most repair work I can do you with what I've got, Miss Toddifons. You're probably gonna want to calibrate yourself.
Toddifons	This works.
Rickety Joe	Miss Eunectes, is your engine good?
Eunectes	Thanks for your spares. I think repairs are just about done.
Rickety Joe	Miss Blaze still has some tail-end work to finish. She says she'll meet up with you aboard the landship.
Toddifons	Fair.
Eunectes	Understood.
Rickety Joe	...... Atmosphere's got me, uh, feeling real awkward right now.
Toddifons	Seriously, why won't your barrener lot head to the Rhodes medical post nearby? They've got people sick to death.
Rickety Joe	That's the way we live. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. We came to the wild, so we're bound to return to the wild. Dying to Oripathy's isn't any different from dying to bandits.
Eunectes	So you've never longed after... the civilization up on nomadic cities?
Rickety Joe	Hah... civilization. We wastelanders are the ones it rejected. We can't go back.
Eunectes	But your mechanical handiwork. How did you...?
Rickety Joe	Don't ask. Never pry into a wastelander's past life. This settlement did me a favor once, and I returned it as I should. Simple as that.
Toddifons	We cross two more dunes ahead and we'll reach the landship.
Rickety Joe	About time I parted ways. Thanks for giving me a ride. Hey, redhead.
Toddifons	......
Rickety Joe	You've got talent.
<Background black>
Eunectes	We're back.
Toddifons	Yep... we're back.
Eunectes	You don't sense it when you're aboard, but seeing it from this angle...
<Background 4>
[While Eunectes watches the scenery from Rhodes Island's bridge with Toddifons...]
Eunectes	...It really is such a wonder. I grew up in the rainforests of Sargon, never coming into contact with any sort of machinery. Everyone lives perfectly fine on their fists alone. One day, I happened to see a nomadic city pass by. I'll never forget the hazy, dusky shadow, the faraway rumble that morning. That was the sound of civilization and progress. And we're living aboard one of those right now!
Toddifons	Rhodes Island isn't a nomadic city.
Eunectes	There's no talking machines in nomadic cities either!
Toddifons	Hey, Zumama.
Eunectes	Huh?
Toddifons	What do you reckon? If I fired off from this distance, would a heavy-duty fortcracker shot make it through Rhodes Island's outer armor?
Eunectes	...... Toddifons, if you ever want funds from my master again, I suggest you don't try.
Toddifons	Someone's no fun. I was born in Victoria. Family of Vouivre, all immigrated from Sargon. Suppose we're from the same place, come to think. Sometimes my mam would even make Sargon stuff for dinner–supposedly, anyway.
Eunectes	Roast finmeat with plantains?
Toddifons	Barely as authentic. Just some red pepper tea and what have you... They don't have it easy, Vouivre, finding footing in Victoria. They join the army, or they try blending in with the locals however. My family started running a factory, making... pulleys and stuff. Not much amazing goes into that. Tear up some scrap, melt down to recast, keep the temperature steady, then pour it into circle molds. Anyone could do that. It was like that until my granddad bought this lathe. Naff old second-hand model he got from who knows where, massive, heavy as all, used it for how many years. Can you imagine, the first time it started up? It was horrible, obviously, but that massive din and the shaking, all those old parts coming to life... Couldn't even hear my own heartbeat.
Eunectes	More comforting than fighting ever was, right?
Toddifons	Bloody right. You said civilization and progress... We've never pointed to a lathe and said "civilization." It just makes our lives that titchy bit better to live, that's all.
<Background 5>
Gavial	So, that was your field mission, huh?
Eunectes	Yes.
Gavial	That's not bad! Sounded pretty exciting to me! That red-haired Vouivre, what was she, Toddifons? She sounds like a real rock-hard fist kinda girl! I think you made a new friend!
[Someone spooks Gavial.]
Gavial	Gah, who the hell?!
Toddifons	Zumama, I got the MK30 of my siege ballista all hammered out! Come to the training ground!
Gavial	You must be Toddifons!
Toddifons	Oh, Gavial. I'm here for a go with Eunectes.
Gavial	She was just telling me she upgraded the Raging Ironhide into the Manic Ironhide! C'mon c'mon c'mon, I'm on break today! You guys fight your hearts out, I'll be there on call, so beat the hell out of each other!
Eunectes	...*sigh*.