Hypocrisy

Hypocrisy

Children of Ursus Previous Meeting in a Dream Next Talking in Riddles

Characters
Natalya/Rosa Zima Logistics Operator (Operator Saren) Vanguard Operator (Compass) Andrey Anton Nikola Pavel Tatyana
Backgrounds
1 2 3 4

“

Zima approaches Natalya, her companion in the Ursus Student Self-government Group. Both of them have questions to ask, as well as things they want to confide. The problem has not been solved, but they will face the future together.

”

<Background 1>
Vanguard Operator	This unripe texture, this slightly-too-salty flavor, oh, I'm finally home again!
Logistics Operator	It was just a long mission. You don't have to kiss the deck.
Vanguard Operator	Hey, you don't know how I take to Ursus food. It really doesn't agree with me. Our canteen's way better. I like everything here.
Logistics Operator	The way you just put it, it doesn't exactly sound like you like it.
Vanguard Operator	Something doesn't have to taste good for me to like it. I helped some survivors find their relatives and they thanked me with a banquet. A big, classy, noble shindig. But let's just say my palate isn't so refined.
Logistics Operator	Yeah, sure. You're totally dependent on the Rhodes Island Cafeteria. So what was the mission?
Vanguard Operator	I'm pretty sure you know the deal. Resettling the refugees from Chernobog in other Ursus cities. Easy stuff, but time-consuming.
Logistics Operator	Forget I asked. I know how much refugee ops mean to you.
Vanguard Operator	Yeah. There's only so much we can do when there's so many of them and so few of us. But a life saved is a life saved. I heard Dobermann talking about how we're not in the best position with Ursus right now, so it's great that Amiya and the Doctor are still willing to do these rescue operations.
Logistics Operator	Sure. We lucked out with those two. Well, there's another one we owe a lot of thanks too.
Vanguard Operator	Oh yeah, I heard about her out on the road. Some girl named Natalya?
Logistics Operator	Right. She's a big celebrity here now.
???	Oooh, my ears are burning.
Logistics Operator	Hey, Natalya, how you doing?
[Natalya approaches the R.I. operators.]
Natalya	Good afternoon, Mr. Saren. And you are...?
Vanguard Operator	Codename Compass. Nice to meet you.
Natalya	Compass.. a fine codename. Good afternoon. Would you mind if I joined you?
Operator Saren	By all means!
Compass	Hey, didn't I hear she was just a student? This is no little girl! She's *gulp* pretty big!
Operator Saren	What do you think "student" means?
Compass	I don't know how to talk to a lady like this!
Operator Saren	Relax. Natalya's real easy-going.
Natalya	Did I happen to overhear that the good Compass has just returned from resettling refugees?
Compass	That's right. We were just talking about it.
Operator Saren	I was telling him all that you did to help.
Natalya	Oh my role was completely trivial.
Operator Saren	You're too modest. If it wasn't for Natalya pushing the survivors along, we would've had a much tougher time.
Compass	The refugees were talking about her too. They said there was a kind young lady who told them Rhodes Island is good people. And after hearing it right from Saren, I really gotta thank you, Miss Natalya. The refugees having a good image of us makes all the difference in the world. Without you, I know things would've gone bad out there. I mean, I was a refugee too. I know how they think. But it still sucks when you're trying to do good and people don't trust you.
Natalya	I did the absolute bare minimum. It was you out there doing the real work, Compass. And it's not that they don't trust Rhodes Island. It's that they've suffered a Catastrophe and they don't trust anyone. I sensed that Rhodes Island had everyone's best interests at heart. And having been Student Council President, I was used to this business. It's what I'm good at.
Compass	You hear that, Saren? This is how you talk to people. Listen up.
Operator Saren	Didn't I just say Natalya is easy-going? When word got around that the new kid was some aristocratic heiress, we were all worried about getting along. But it turns out she's good at her job, easy to talk to, super easy to get along with. We all love Natalya.
Natalya	Oh my no. Everyone's only willing to put up with me because I'm so young.
Compass	Speaking of, did you decide to stay with Rhodes Island?
Natalya	I did. I passed the Logistics Department's examination last week. I am now formally employed by Rhodes Island Pharmaceuticals.
Compass	Wow, that's great news. You're gonna love it here, trust me.
Natalya	I'm already very pleased. As long as we're on the subject, Mr. Saren, I've finished compiling the second refugee manifest, pairing names with destinations. If you wouldn't mind sending it along after lunch.
Operator Saren	What? Already? That means the refugees we saved all have somewhere to go?
Natalya	Yes. Aside from those who are still undergoing treatment.
Operator Saren	Incredible. It's a good thing the section chief put you on the task.
Natalya	I'm only doing my duty.
Compass	I guess I'd better go put in for the second resettlement op then.
Operator Saren	You want to head out there again? Didn't you just get done telling me you can't stand Ursus food?
Compass	Yeah, but seeing the survivors return to their homes and their relatives, seeing them so happy makes up for it. Right, I'm about done with lunch. Help me with the tray, will you? I gotta go apply.
Operator Saren	Hey, bus your own tray! Sorry about him, Natalya. That's just how he is.
Natalya	Our good Compass has quite the attachment to the refugees...?
Operator Saren	He does. You heard him say he was a refugee too, right? One of our teams saved him, so he's pretty gung ho about any ops that have to do with refugees.
Natalya	And you seem to get along well?
Operator Saren	Oh, yeah. I guess we do. He was in Logistics for a bit, before transferring to the front lines. We had some time together, our personalities clicked, and so we're friends. You're with that Ursus Student Self-government Group, right?
Natalya	Yes. But Son... Zima and the girls are front line operators like Compass, and I'm in Logistics.
Operator Saren	I heard you were all found together. You're very close too?
Natalya	...Yes, yes we are. We were together all that time. We're very close.
Operator Saren	You went through it as a group. That's good. Err, not to say that kind of hardship is good.
Natalya	I know what you mean.
Zima	......
Natalya	Oh? Zima...
Operator Saren	Speak of the devil, huh? Is she staring at you?
Natalya	Yes. ...... Forgive me, Saren. I must be going.
Operator Saren	Yeah, sure.
[Natalya leaves.]
<Background 2>
[Natalya approaches Zima.]
Natalya	Are you looking for me, Zima?
Zima	......
Natalya	Are you okay? You look pale.
Zima	I... I'm fine. I shouldn't have come looking for you. Forget I was here.
[Zima runs off and Natalya tries to stop her...]
Natalya	Hey, wait.
[...but Zima resists.]
Zima	Don't touch me!
Natalya	Talk to me, Sonya. We haven't had a good talk since we came here.
Zima	......
Natalya	Come to my room.
<Background 3>
Natalya	Have a seat. Care for a drink? Coffee? Tea? I have both.
Zima	...That's the aristocrat in you.
Natalya	You still have the strength to tease me. Looks like you're in better shape than I thought. Your face back there was a ghastly sight. Let's call it coffee then. Rhodes Island has some fine beans, but I can't say the same for their tea. I've heard it has to do with the Chief Engineer. She's quite particular about her coffee. What do you think?
Zima	How should I know?
Natalya	Heh heh. I've been hearing nothing but praise lately. I'd missed your venomous tongue.
Zima	And I'm sick of you already.
Natalya	Do you take it with sugar?
Zima	No.
Natalya	Really? It's black.
Zima	No.
Natalya	Alright. Enjoy.
Zima	...... Bleh.
Natalya	It's too bitter, isn't it?
Zima	......
Natalya	Come now. Take a spoonful of sugar.
Zima	Did you drag me here to screw with me?
Natalya	You're the one who wouldn't take the sugar, Sonya.
Zima	Hmph.
Natalya	And let's not forget, it was you who came looking for me.
Zima	I already told you, that was a mistake. We're not friends. I don't like you.
Natalya	True. We're not friends. Nor is Anna my friend. We simply survived together.
Zima	Simply...
Natalya	Sonya, there are some things that are harder to say to those closest to you. If you were my friend, I would not have brought you here. Some things can only be said to someone unimportant, someone who understands your situation. For me, the best person is Anna. But you'll do. Mmm... Rosalind is too direct and open. While Lada is too honest and kindhearted. They won't do. Surely you feel the same. Which means you have only me, I'm afraid. I'm honestly not surprised you came to me.
Zima	Does that mean you want to talk to me?
Natalya	Yes.
Zima	Why?
Natalya	...Sonya, these last two months, how do you feel, fighting as an operator?
Zima	What do you mean "feel?" It's just fighting. I guess it does suck to have to listen to that Doctor.
Natalya	Your talking back to the Doctor even made it up to Logistics. You're quite something.
Zima	...I'm not like you. I don't talk fancy.
Natalya	What I really want to ask is, after all we've been through, do you not struggle to pick up a weapon?
Zima	...I like fighting.
Natalya	I see... Still, I think it would be in your best interest to learn some "fancy talk." It could save your life.
Zima	I don't need your advice.
Natalya	We may not be friends, but we've been through so much together. I think it's normal to care about you, as a colleague.
Natalya	And to tell the truth, I do quite like you. I would like to be your friend.
Zima	...Huh?
Natalya	To be more precise, I'd say I envy you. Because you do so easily what I could never do.
Natalya	Now then, Sonya, won't you tell me what made you seek me out?
Zima	...I've been having nightmares lately.
Natalya	Can you describe them to me?
Zima	...No.
Natalya	Alright. Let me guess. They must be something you can't talk to Anna about. Otherwise you wouldn't have come to me, right?
Zima	...Right.
Natalya	I figured it out while we were still in Chernobog. You two have an understanding. You each know what the other needs, but you avoid talking about it.
Zima	None of your business.
Natalya	Relax, I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I'm in no position to be giving advice to others right now. Let's talk about something else, Sonya. Do you plan to live your life as Zima now?
Zima	What do you mean?
Natalya	I mean are you going to stay at Rhodes Island? We don't have to. The people here are very understanding. If we wanted to leave, they would send us off somewhere peaceful. There are many survivors like us, rescued at the same time, already on their way back to Ursus. If we wanted to, we could go to another city in the Empire and start new lives.
Zima	So why haven't you left?
Natalya	I don't know.
Zima	......?
[Natalya walks to the window.]
Natalya	Nice weather today. Isn't it, Sonya? Perfect for a picnics.
Zima	Hey.
Natalya	Back when we were combing through the ruins, desperate for food, stretching a single bottle of water to last an entire day, I often thought to myself: "If I survive this, I'm going to find a lovely garden on a sunny afternoon and have a sumptuous picnic."
Zima	Hey!
Natalya	But far more often I thought— "I wish you killed me that day." Don't hesitate. Don't pity me. Don't think to save me. Look down at this wretched aristocrat girl, and swing your axe. It may have been the very best thing for me, had you just ended my life right there.
Zima	There's still time.
Natalya	You really could?
Zima	......
Natalya	We left that place, Sonya. We've returned to the civilized world. We must think as civilized people. We must use civilized methods to solve our problems. Those things that happened back there cannot happen again.
Zima	Who cares.
Natalya	You care. You're a good person, Sonya. "General Zima," Protector of the Weak, Bane of the Bullies.
Zima	Don't make me puke.
Natalya	That's the Sonya I heard rumors about.
Zima	I just can't stand those punks who get a little bit of strength and think it's a license to bully.
Natalya	You must hate the aristocracy then?
Zima	Duh. A bunch of a fake-ass self-important shitheads.
Natalya	Yes. They, or rather, we are "fake-ass self-important shitheads." Since you brought me back, I don't think I've ever told you what happened to me before you showed up, did I?
Zima	Nope. I just know you were in charge of that gang of nobles.
Natalya	I'll tell you the story sometime.
Zima	Whatever.
Natalya	Most of the nobility and wealthy people fled the city when Reunion came, or even before.
Zima	They know they were coming?
Natalya	Yes. They did.
Zima	...sons of bitches.
Natalya	Indeed. But you know, nobles are selfish.
Zima	You too?
Natalya	Yes.
Zima	So why did you stay?
Natalya	My family was just too slow. We were trapped with some other noble families. Some houses didn't take the threat seriously, of course.
Zima	Oh.
Natalya	Come now, don't give me that face. This background is important to frame the story. We'll get to the good part. In short, the students who were sent to your school fell into into either the "slow" or "stupid" categories. We were at first meant to stay with our parents, for Reunion to use as hostages to bargain with the Empire. But in the end, we were separated and sent to the school.
Zima	That's kinda weird.
Natalya	It was. Nobles make good hostages in a time of war. Not to be wasted. The aristocracy is elegant, noble, and should command respect. Even as a captive, one must never forget her house.
Zima	You're all screwed in the head.
Natalya	The old me would have locked you in a two hour debate for saying that, Sonya. Because that's how I was raised. But now, I agree. There is no real difference between nobles and commoners. It's all window dressing. Scrape off the veneer and the aristocracy is truly ugly. We talked about how if it weren't for the first fire, if we didn't lose that food store, things wouldn't have gotten so bad.
Zima	But Anna said even without the fire, something else would have happened.
Natalya	If I had been through that, I would have thought the same. But in any case, it's post-hoc— "What needed to happen to cause all that came after." The funny thing is, nobles don't need anything to happen. Put them together and they fight.
Zima	Why?
Natalya	Should I get into the differences between new and old nobility? The mayor's political leanings? How many factions there are in the Chernobog aristocracy?
Zima	Could you, like, not do that?
Natalya	But then you won't understand why they fight.
Zima	I guess I'll just never understand.
Natalya	I'm not really interested in these things either. But as a daughter of the House of Rostov, I had to learn. All you need to know is that from the very first day we were locked up in the school, the noble students were backstabbing each other. I had no choice but to step forward as the Student Council President of #4 Secondary School and use my status to bring order.
Zima	You mean you organized them to put an end to the infighting?
Natalya	Sounds reasonable, doesn't it? In order to stop my classmates from fighting, I stood up and took charge.
<Background 4>
Viktor	Uh, ah...
Nikola	Don't think you rule the roost just because your father owns a mine, Pavel!
Pavel	A mere baron dares to take such a tone with me. He's lucky he doesn't find my blade in his chest. As for you, second son of the House of Ivanov, when did it become your turn to speak? Maybe you'd like a new hole in your torso as well?
Nikola	How dare you...?! My father is a councilor!
Pavel	A councilor? Do you know how many councilors come to my mother's soirees every Sunday? Oh, you don't? Because your father doesn't make the cut.
Nikola	You!
Natalya	Hold your tongue, Pavel!
Pavel	Please, Natalya, call me Pasha. You need not be so formal.
Natalya	I'm serious, Pavel Nikolaevich! You are not to start another senseless quarrel!
Pavel	As you wish, my esteemed President of the Student Council.
Natalya	Tatyana, please bandage Viktor's wound.
Tatyana	O– of course!
Natalya	Ladies and gentlemen, we have been sealed inside this school. We know not what will happen. But I suspect that Reunion Movement won't let us go lightly. Look at what you've become. It hasn't been twelve hours and you're arguing, fighting, even threatening to kill your fellow nobles. Is this how the aristocracy behaves?!
Anton	Who the hell are you? Why should I listen to you?!
Tatyana	Because she is the president of the student council at #4 Secondary School, Natalya Andreyevna Rostova!
Anton	Y– you're the eldest daughter of Count Rostov?! She is the "Pearl of #4," the one whom Count Rostov has declared his heir.
Natalya	We have gathered here the nobility from each district secondary school. I do not wish to focus on my rank. I simply must impress upon you all the gravity of our situation. We find ourselves surrounded by many common students, and I do not want them to see such disgraceful conduct from us. Furthermore, while we have been trapped here by the Reunion Movement, they will not seek to harm us, if they wish to secure concessions from the Empire. Are we going to waste our precious lives on such infighting?! We need unity, now more than ever!
<Background 3>
Natalya	Of course, we now know Reunion didn't give a damn about us aristocrats.
Zima	......
Natalya	Anyway, I was able to put a stop to their fighting. But in a situation like that, pretty words and a fancy title will only get you so far. Sonya, do you know why the Empire of Ursus is as strong as it is? In fact, there were quite a few noble students who were unwilling to submit to my authority, or share the same room with someone else, and left the group. In the end, I had some three dozen under me. At the time, I thought I had done very well.
Zima	So that's why there were still so many noble shitstains lurking around.
Natalya	Yes, I'm sure they made their own groups as well.
Zima	How was I supposed to know?
Natalya	It's a shame. I'm enjoying this conversation with you, but I do wish Anna was here for it.
Zima	Don't change the subject.
Natalya	Oh, I'm sorry. I do have more to say, but it's hard to get the words out. Ursus is what it is today because of war. The previous monarch waged endless war, pillaging resources, and investing them in the next campaign. As long as there was war, the Empire could function, the people united in their common struggle.
<Background 4>
Nikola	I... I agree with President Rostova.
Pavel	I will submit to the President's leadership.
Natalya	If you are all willing to put your trust in me, I am willing to serve the group. (I was able to stop the fight, barely, but what do I do next...?)
Pavel	That being the case, I have a proposal.
Natalya	Oh?
Pavel	You were correct when you said we have a responsibility to preserve the dignity of the aristocracy. Therefore, it's time the commoners offered us a contribution, to ensure we can live in such dignity.
<Background 3>
Zima	You mean...?
Natalya	Yes, I agreed to let them prey on the commoners. Sonya, I used to think myself a good person. At least, at the time, that's how I thought. I would find the social machinations of the aristocracy boring and hypocritical, I would bemoan the tragedies of the world, I would even serve meals to refugees. But I will not lie to you, or to myself. At that time, to unite the nobles, I allowed them to pillage.
"Wham!" The white-haired girl is thrown to the floor. She takes a few solid hits to the face. And as the slight trickle of crimson blood slips from her mouth, it curls into a smile. A tragic smile.
Natalya	*Cough,* *cough...*
Zima	You piece of...
Natalya	I am a monster. But you know, Sonya, I wouldn't realize it if I never spent that time with you, if I never came to Rhodes Island. Without these experiences, I would not think as I do now. You taught me that I am not noble, in the true sense of the word. And that is the most painful knowledge I must endure. That is why I say it would have been better had you killed me like you did my companions. I could have died peacefully, indulging in the fantasy that I was a good girl, that I was forced by circumstance to do what I did. ...Do you know, Sonya, what this is?
Zima	A letter opener.
Natalya	These past few months, I have twenty-six times thought to slit my wrists. Fifteen times I thought to slash open my throat.
Zima	...You can count 'em, huh?
Natalya	Because each time I fail, I laugh at myself for being such a stupid coward. That stays with me. Of course, I've considered more aristocratic methods as well: poisoned tea, a saber. I've even thought carefully about what calligraphic style to use in my suicide note. Unfortunately, all of those methods would be discovered before I could pull off the deed. And I don't want to make trouble.
Zima	What's your point?
Natalya	I... I told Rhodes Island: I want to stay here and do what I can for the people of Ursus. I told myself: Natalya, this is your atonement. But is that true? Whenever I think of Nikola's smile, of any of their faces as they came to me, triumphant after robbing the commoners; of my cowardice as I smiled back at them, rather than reprimanding their evil. Whenever I think of all that I let them do, of the plans I would make for them, of the joy I took in our comfortable hoard of supplies. Whenever I think of all the screaming and crying I ignored, of how I thought myself innocent by way of circumstance, of how I began to grow accustomed to living that way. Sonya, can you believe it? That in that entire battle royale, I did not kill a single person? And yet, I bear the most guilt. Did you think I brought you here to tell you what you should do? No, Sonya. I don't know. I have no idea. About anything. I don't even know how to tell people I don't know! All I can do is put on that stupid facade that I have everything perfectly under control as I drag you in here!
Zima	......
Natalya	......
Zima	Do you...?
Natalya	Phew, I'm sorry. I lost my composure.
Zima	...Do you want something to drink?
Natalya	Black tea, please. Thank you.
Zima	Okay. So uh, where do you keep the black tea? You've got a shitload of different tea boxes over here. I can't tell what's what Oof.
Natalya	Hup. I'll get it, Sonya.
Zima	Uh, sorry.
Natalya	It just occurred to me you probably don't know how to make tea. Forgive the momentary lapse in judgment that pushed you to do something you're not good at.
Zima	Why you...
Natalya	Say, Sonya, what exactly were you thinking back then?
Zima	Huh?
Natalya	After the fire, I ran as fast as I could only to be caught by some other students. Why did you save me? You knew of course that I was the leader of the nobles wreaking havoc just days before.
Zima	I forget. You probably just looked too pathetic.
Natalya	Then why would you let me join the Self-Government Group?
Zima	Because Anna said it was okay. Do you want me to hate you, Natalya?
Natalya	I don't know. Can you hate me?
Zima	I've never seen a shithead admit she's a shithead before.
Natalya	So a shithead who admits she's a shithead isn't a shithead anymore?
Zima	...Do you want me to crush you?
Natalya	I'm no masochist. It's just, how should I say? I'd like to be honest with you, um, after all that you just heard, to avoid any misunderstandings.
Zima	Maso... what?
Natalya	Oh, that's just a kind of "hobby" popular in aristocratic circles. I've only heard rumors, actually. Don't worry about it.
Zima	As long as I don't have to kick your ass again.
Natalya	You don't want to? Do you prefer Columbian or Victorian? Tea, that is.
Zima	...You're right back to your old self. Whatever, I can't drink it anyway.
Natalya	It's how I was raised. I must show my most refined side at all times. Sugar?
Zima	...Yeah.
Natalya	Sorry, you can't sweeten this kind of tea. Drink it straight, please.
Zima	You suck. Hmph. Look, Natalya, I don't know how I'm supposed to cheer you up. And anyway I really don't wanna.
Natalya	Oh? Not only do you not hate me, you want to comfort me?
Zima	Shut your tea hole.
Natalya	Alright, alright.
Zima	I hate trying to comfort people. Every time I try, I screw everything up. All I can do is tell you what I'm thinking. You asked me a minute ago if I was gonna keep on living as Zima. The answer is yes. My mom and dad died in Chernobog. There's nothing for me to go back to. I don't wanna go back to Ursus. So that's that. I think I should be able to understand your pain or whatever, but I really don't. At first, I thought you wanted to justify yourself. Punks talk like that when they want to sucker-punch me while I'm distracted. But you seem legit sad. Why? Those noble shitstains wouldn't have been any better off without you. And you're not the one who turned them into dickheads anyway. You didn't make all that happen. It was actually me...
Natalya	You?
Zima	Nothing, forget it. But if I was one of those nobles, I might've liked having a leader like you. Same way Istina chose me. You did what you could. I only hate you because you were my enemy before you weren't. Also I hate nobles. That's all. Oh, and I have nightmares, and the nightmares make me puke, and then I can't sleep because I'm sad. But doing what you can to survive isn't bad. And I don't think it was bad to let you live. You think you're a shithead. But I know, without you, just relying on Anna, we never would've survived those next couple weeks. Just go for a run. Eat when you're hungry. Sleep when you're tired. Better than sitting around moping.
Natalya	Hup.
Zima	What?
Natalya	Ahahahahaha.
Zima	What's making you laugh like that? Jeez, you're tearing up.
Natalya	Nothing. It's just, this is why it's nice to chat with you. If it were Anna and me, we'd be bawling our eyes out over each other by now.
Zima	She doesn't like you either, don't forget.
Natalya	I know. Pfft. Hahaha! I know. Listen, Sonya.
Zima	What are you doing?
Natalya	I want you to know, you completely failed to address my problem.
Zima	I'm way too lazy to care.
Natalya	And I think there's nothing I could do to help with yours. But you were right on one point: we survived. Do you think we'll get over it, in the end?
Zima	Huh?
Natalya	The circle beneath our feet, the night, the maze, our minds, our thoughts, the abyss.
Zima	Could you use like, real words?
Natalya	Right, right. Anyway, operators all have codenames, right? If I were to become an operator, what should my codename be?
Zima	How should I know? Anna picked mine.
Natalya	Okay. What do you think of Rosa?
Zima	Ursine for "dew?"
Natalya	Yes, like morning dew. Can you call me "Rosa?"
Zima	O...kay?
Rosa	It's settled. If I'm to become an operator, they'll call me Rosa.