Today's Kitchen

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Today's Kitchen Stories of Afternoon
Characters
Blank icon.svg
Procurement Agent
Backgrounds
RI Cafeteria
1
RI Corridor
2
Matterhorn obeys SilverAsh's instructions, staying home alone to prepare Cliffheart's lunch.
Matterhorn also prepares a portion for Ethan, who often comes by to scavenge, but does not expect Ethan to come bearing a surprise for him as well.
<Background 1>
9:50 AM \ Sunny
Rhodes Island Landship, Compartment 2, Cafeteria
Matterhorn North Kjerag-style stir-fried greens, sprinkled with a little Rhodes Island Special Seasoning....
And we're done.
Gummy Wow! Looks delicious!
Matterhorn You flatter me.
Such leafy greens are rare in Kjerag, so I don't often get to cook dishes like this. Your approval brings me joy.
Things are different in the snowfields of Kjerag. Many goods are hard to come by, even with money. It's not like here on this landship, where supplies are so plentiful.
Gummy Supplies.... I think I heard Closure say something about that.
I guess Rhodes Island has like a special procurement channel that brings supplies and stuff to the ship.
They have bases all over the place, so we can get all kinds of different ingredients from different places.
Matterhorn That explains it. But they really have bases all over?
Gummy Um... I guess they're like offices or something? I don't really get this stuff.
That reminds me, wasn't there a wishlist on the bulletin board outside the cafeteria? If there's anything special you like to eat, you can write it up there!
I heard those pretty girls in procurement check it every day!
Procurement Agent A You're too sweet, Gummy! Call me pretty again and I'll bring you back some candy next time.
Gummy You're gorgeous!
Procurement Agent A Atta-girl.
Procurement Agent B Seriously...?
Matterhorn, right? Just make a note of whatever you need on that bulletin board there and we'll procure it for you, if we get the chance.
Matterhorn I understand. I'll make use of it if I find myself in need. Your efforts humble me.
Procurement Agent B No need to go that far. This is our job, after all.
Procurement Agent A What's with the stiffness? We're all friends here. Loosen up and talk like human beings already.
Procurement Agent B You need to take our work more seriously!
Don't mind her. We have things to do, so we'll get out of your hair for now.
[The procurement agents leave.]
Gummy Hehe. Everybody's so nice. Last time we moored by a city, Closure even took me shopping with her!
The stuff she bought was kinda weird.... But I still had fun!
Matterhorn Haha, I heard about that. Dr. Kal'tsit was very upset when she bought a big stone mask?
Gummy Ahahahaha. Yeah! That mask was so creepy! I tried it on once.
Matterhorn Next time you see something so strange, perhaps you shouldn't touch it.
Ah, the food has cooled down and the temperature is perfect.
Mm. It's salty. This flavor may be a little bit much...
Gummy Don't worry, I'm sure it's great.
Do you think I could try some? Can I? Please let me have some, Uncle Matterhorn!
Matterhorn U– uncle...?
(Am I that old now...?)
Of course you can. In fact, it would be a big help to me if you were my taste tester.
Gummy Hooray!
Hehehe, c'mon, lemme try... Oh?
Matterhorn Huh? What's wrong?
Gummy Um.... Hm. I kinda feel like there's less food on this plate than there was a second ago?
So weird. Am I going crazy...?
Matterhorn .......
Gummy Oh well. Gimme a bite!
Ommmm—nom.
(chewing and munching)
Matterhorn How... how is it?
Gummy Omnom nomnom. Gulp.
It's great!!
The veggies are crunchy and juicy and super refreshing and seasoned juuust right. It's really, really good!
Matterhorn O– oh? I appreciate the compliment.
But I think you're exaggerating a bit. This is a simple recipe designed for home cooking. I can put a copy up in the kitchen for everyone to try.
Gummy Hooray!
I'll also let you try my secret recipe for Ursus frozen vegetable soup, Uncle Matterhorn. It's super healthy! Ooh, it'll be like a trade~
Matterhorn Sounds delicious. I'll give it a try the next time I'm preparing a midnight snack for the Ladies.
Gummy Hehehe. I'm sure Pramanix and Cliffheart will love it~
Matterhorn (The Lady and the Young Lady, hm...?)
By the way, Gummy, shouldn't you send along that stew you've been preparing?
It's for the Doctor, isn't it? It will get cold if we leave it any longer, and that will affect the taste.... won't it?
Gummy Oooh! I almost forgot!!
I better get going! Uncle Matterhorn! The stir-fried greens are mega delicious! Save me the recipe!
[Gummy leaves in a hurry.]
Matterhorn What a vivacious little girl.
........
........
Show yourself.
[...]
Matterhorn ........No?
Hmph.
Then, you'll have to pardon me—
[Matterhorn slashes an empty space near him...]
??? Oof!
Come on, man.
Are we really up to blades and guns now? Where did you pull that out of anyway? And what's it doing in the kitchen? You could hurt somebody.
*Sigh* How'd you know I was here? I thought I was pretty well hidden.
[...forcing Ethan, who were hiding with his chameleon camouflage all the time, to reveal himself.]
Ethan (biting apple)
Matterhorn ....You.
Stealing food from the kitchen again? There's no need for that. If you're hungry, just go to the cafeteria.
Did you not learn your lesson last time? I recall a logistics operator telling you if you were caught using your powers to take food or ingredients without permission again, you would be punished appropriately.
Ethan Punishment? Oh, you mean the one where they make me wear a sign that says "I took food from the kitchen"?
What kind of punishment is that? I thought they were joking.
Hey, wait a minute, you still didn't tell me how you found me.
Matterhorn If you hadn't swiped some of the dish I just made, I wouldn't have noticed your presence.
Ethan Ahhh, I blew it.
I was just going to see if there were any breakfast leftovers I could eat, but that stuff you made smelled so good I couldn't resist.
Sorry, so sorry. Infinitely sorry. More sorry than sorry can be. You don't care that much, do you?
Matterhorn I care.
Ethan Phew, that's a relief, I th... Huh?
Wait a minute? What did you just say?
Huh?
Matterhorn I said I care.
Ethan .......
Woah, woah, woah.
(No way, this could be bad.)
(If he's gonna get stuck in on this thing, this is a problem that could go places!)
Matterhorn You....
Ethan Ah, huh? What?
Matterhorn —You didn't use a fork. You grabbed the food with your hands. And you didn't even wash them!
That's unsanitary! It's unacceptable!
Ethan ........Huh?
So that's... all you care about?
Matterhorn Hygiene is no laughing matter! Show respect to your food, especially when it's handmade. Every serving of this dish contains a piece of my heart!
Wait, you washed that apple first, didn't you? You need to take care of yourself, as a warrior!
Ethan All right, all right, I get it.
Matterhorn That's the same attitude Instructor Dobermann is always getting upset about.
...Anyway, I shouldn't be butting my horns in there.
Ethan Come on, I'm really turning over a new leaf here.
It's just that, hey, sometimes old habits die hard. And it's the kind of thing I never got to worry about.
But you got one thing wrong. I did remember to wash my hands this time.
Matterhorn Just splashing water over them for a second doesn't count as washing your hands.
Ethan You're a real hardass, man.
Okay, whatever, I'll remember next time.
Matterhorn Frivolous little...
Oh, by the way, how did you find the dish you just tasted?
Ethan Dish? You mean the stir-fried greens?
Didn't that Gummy girl already stroke your ego? Need a quick tug from me too? Sure, fine. It blew me away, incredible flavor. And your biceps are huge.
Matterhorn Any additional glib remarks?
Ethan Oh yeah, tons.
Matterhorn Save them. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold myself back from educating you.
Ethan Hahaha. Seriously, do you really want to hear the truth?
Matterhorn .......?
Ethan All right. I'll give it to you straight. The dish is good, it's tasty. But, how do I put this? I get a confusing feeling when I eat it.
Matterhorn Don't talk nonsense. My cooking isn't capable of sparking such feelings.
Ethan Gee, you're really no fun at all.
But sure. You know, I saw you sigh a few times while you were cooking.
Matterhorn .......
Ethan Like full on. You were spacing out, and sighing to yourself. It's hard to imagine you put out food this good in a state like that.
Matterhorn I....
Ethan Stop, stop.
Forget it, man, don't force it if you don't want to. I don't care at all, really.
I dunno what's bothering you. But just some advice from ol' Ethan, take a look at the big picture, and don't do this to yourself.
Matterhorn .......
Ethan Look at me. There was me, back there, but I'm over that. Can't do anything about it anyway, might as well not think about it. Life at Rhodes Island is good.
Hey, changing the subject, I just wanna ask, what's cooking in your pot over there? Smells really good.
Matterhorn ........That's braised beastmeat. It's ready to go. I'm about to sprinkle some cheese on it.
It's a traditional Kjerag dish. Snowlanders all grow up eating it. I've made some slight adjustments to make the beastmeat more tender.
Ethan Oh! That sounds awesome!
Can I try this too?
Matterhorn Wait, not that, that's—
<Flashback starts here>
<Background 2>
??? (SilverAsh) Here you are, Matterhorn.
Matterhorn Master! When did you get to Rhodes Island? And why didn't you inform me you were coming?
Just a moment, I'll make you some tea.
SilverAsh No need, I'm only passing through.
Courier It's just a matter of talking to the Doctor about some Kjerag issues. It all came up pretty suddenly, so I didn't have time to tell you.
There is a lot of pressure. The Master is pushing himself too hard.
Matterhorn I see...
SilverAsh Setting that aside, Matterhorn, how is Ensia these days?
Matterhorn The Young Lady is in good spirits and her condition is under control.
As you instructed, Courier and I have been keeping an eye on the Lady's health. I prepare a separate lunch for her, to avoid any adverse reactions to Rhodes Island's food.
SilverAsh That's good. Heat up another pot of salted milk tea while you're at it, Ensia always liked that.
Courier Your tastes haven't changed, nor have hers, Master.
Matterhorn As you wish, Master.
SilverAsh Well, that's that.
Thank you.
<Flashback ends here>
<Background 1>
Matterhorn I prepared that specially for the Young Lady, at the Master's command. I'll be bringing it to her later. If you're still hungry, I can prepare something else for you.
Ethan Yeah, that'd be great. I really wanna get some of that tender meat.
Matterhorn It's very precious food. Specially requested from operators who were passing by that base. This is all we have.<r/>Not to mention, braised meat takes a tremendous amount of time. You'll just have to make do with regular fried beastmeat.
Ethan This is discrimination!
Matterhorn Beggars can't be choosers!
Ethan Fine! I'll earn the good stuff!
<Background fades out and in>
Ethan .......
That Master you're talking about, he's your boss, right?
That's Master SilverAsh who pops up every now and then to chat up the Doctor?
Matterhorn That's right. You've met the Master?
Whether you have or not, I advise you to take a more respectful tone.
Ethan I called him "Master," is that not respectful enough?
Anyway, that boss of yours, I heard he's got a couple of younger sisters?
Matterhorn Yes. What of them?
Ethan That Feline girl named Ensia, she's your "Young Lady," isn't she?
Real sweet of her brother to send you along to feed her home cooking. He worried the foreign stuff won't agree with her?
So that's the "Young Lady." Where's the "Old Lady?"
Matterhorn ...What exactly are you asking?
The matter of the Ladies is the Master's private affair. You'd best not ask such questions.
Ethan Whew, that's a scary face. Chill, I'm not dumb enough to go sticking my nose into rich people business.
Matterhorn So....?
Ah, pass that sauce bottle over there for me.
Ethan This one? Here you go.
Matterhorn Thanks.
Ethan Welcome. Ooh, that's starting to smell good.
<Background fades out and in>
Matterhorn And we're done. It's just plain fried beastmeat. But I made a few substitutions. It should taste all right.
There's bread in the basket over there, and there should be rice in the pot next to it. You can have whatever you like. I need to bring this to the Young Lady now.
Remember to wash your hands before you eat.
Ethan Get outta here. Are you my mother?
Matterhorn No. Thankfully, I'm not.
[Matterhorn leaves.]
Ethan ...Yeah, get going.
*Sigh*. Too bad. That braised meat smelled amazing.
.......
Guess I'll wash my hands.
Weird. Since when am I such a good boy?
[...]
Ethan Okay, do the soap, the thirty seconds on each hand.... Three, two, one. And we're good.
(shaking out his hands)
Safe.
??? (Vulcan) At least wipe your hands before you grab the bread.
Ethan Huh?
Who's that?
??? (Vulcan) ...Nobody. Just a blacksmith.
Hm? Where's Matterhorn?
<Background black>
??? Thanks, Matterhorn, for the tea.
Mmm, it smells good. Is there some sesame oil in it? That's how I used to take it when I was little. I can't believe you still remember.
Matterhorn You humble me, my Lady.
Now then, I'll leave you to enjoy it. I must be off.
<Background 2>
Matterhorn ........
(It must have been the Master who put the sesame oil in the tea for her when she was small.)
(But the Master hasn't had salted milk tea like this since he came back from Victoria. He must have forgotten.)
(My Lady...)
*Sigh*.
(The Young Lady picked out all the peppers again this time. She's been doing that since she was small.)
(If you keep being so picky with your food, you won't get a balanced diet. Things will only get worse...)
...Hmm?
That reminds me, the Master would, in such cases....
........
(No, don't go down that road.)
(It's too dangerous an issue. Better just forget about it.)
??? Hey, hey, hey, big guy—
Matterhorn Hm? Who's there?
Ethan It's me! You see something floating down the corridor, who else could it be?! You stupid?
Whatever. Here, take this. Don't drop it.
Matterhorn What's—
Ethan There you go. I got a thing. Later.
Matterhorn Wait!
[Ethan runs off.]
Matterhorn ........He's gone.
What is he doing? It's a... sandwich?
He burned the bread, didn't cut the edges, and sliced the scalesaur meat too thick, it's...
??? (Vulcan) Cut him a break.
[Vulcan appears.]
Vulcan He worked hard on it. Even put in some tangerine slices. It should taste fine.
Matterhorn ........Vulcan.
You must be here for my shield. I left it with a few other pieces that need fixing in the kitchen. I'll fetch them for you.
Vulcan It's okay, I'll go with.
That guy was pretty chatty while working on that sandwich.
Matterhorn Did Ethan say something unpleasant to you? Let me apologize on his behalf. He speaks without thinking, but there's no malice in him....
Vulcan Err, no. Slow down there. It's nothing like that.
He said he wanted to give Uncle Matterhorn a taste of "aimless youth cuisine," as a token of appreciation.
I guess he put his heart into it. Oh and he walked off with two plates of food that were sitting in the kitchen.
Matterhorn ........
What nonsense. Such hooliganism.
Vulcan It is. But why do I get the sense that you kinda like it?
Matterhorn That's ridiculous.
Vulcan Look me in the eye and say that.
Matterhorn Ahem.
<Background black>
Matterhorn ........By the way, how old is Ethan?
Where does he get off calling me "Uncle?"