Operation story: CB-6

Operation

Story

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Characters
Bison Croissant Exusiai Mostima Sora Texas Emperor Yith Gambino Mafioso
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Before operation

“

At the end of the world, Penguin Logistics is having a pointless wine-tasting party. Everyone picks up a bottle to confront the Mafia, and the fight officially begins.

”

<Background 1>
10:26 PM \ Cloudy Sunset Boulevard, "The Ends of the Earth" lounge
Croissant	Say baws, what year's this vintage?
Emperor	Hmm, maderized coloring, lively aroma, robust flavor, velvety texture, this is... Last month. A forty of malt liquor from the corner store.
Croissant	Perfect scores up and down, baws! That's why they call ya Lungmen's self-proclaimed number one sow-mel-eer!
Emperor	*Pfft* How many times do I gotta tell you? This is a reserve weapon. It ain't for drinking! Sora!
Sora	Okay, okay, here's your mouthwash.
Croissant	Um... did ya mean to wash yer mouth with Yan huangjiu...?
Texas	Alcohol is a disinfectant. There's industrial alcohol under the bar. That would do the trick.
Croissant	S'all good. We got money so we might as well spend it. It's all in the process, y'know? Ain't the amount. It's the process of spending!
Exusiai	Everybody, the apple pie's ready! It's time to party!
Croissant	Oooh~ Exusiai's homemade apple pie!
Emperor	Bottoms up!
Sora	...so like, what exactly are we partying for?
Exusiai	Huh? It's Bison's welcome party.
Sora	...so like, where's Bison?
Exusiai	Um! I dunno!
Emperor	Then pick another reason. We always got a reason to party.
[Bison arrives at the bar.]
Bison	...What are you guys doing?
Croissant	Awright. Here's the guest of honor himself.
Emperor	Hey. Welcome to The Ends of the Earth. You're late. That's three shots. Guest of honor drinks triple, but you can't drink. So that's nine sodas. Drink up.
Bison	Why is it called The Ends of the Earth? (And the decor is so gaudy... And what's with the penguin... is this some kind of punk thing...?)
Exusiai	Don't just stand there with your tongue hanging out. This is your welcome party! Apple pie?
Bison	...No thanks. So while me and Mostima were out there fighting off mobsters, you were in here partying? So... what happened to their leader?
Texas	He got away.
Emperor	To be more precise, we let him get away.
Bison	Regardless, he got away... so what do we do next?
Texas	We know the enemy's identity, their goal, and their numbers. They're the Siracusan Mafia, and they wanted to take Penguin Logistics's territory in Lungmen. ...even though we're a logistics firm and... never mind.
Sora	Don't sweat it, Texas. We've always got a few days here and there to take out the trash.
Croissant	When ya say it like that, it makes us sound even less like a legitimate business, don't it?
Exusiai	They don't know what they're talking about. They couldn't fill the boss's t-shirt for two minutes without cracking under the pressure.
Emperor	Penguin Logistics is a unique operation. And I'm a step even more unique.
Bison	But that means we have lots of options for how to work this out. Why do we have to fight with them?
Texas	I don't know.
Bison	You don't know? How have you been...
Emperor	Alright, alright, let's not put too much brainpower into this. Find an opportunity to grab their boss, huck him in the river and boom, we're done. This whole thing has been one big ass waste of time. I just. Don't. Give. A shit.
Exusiai	Seriously. This isn't really worth spending any more time on. Here, gum.
Bison	Om... But we at least need to come up with a plan to... Wait, what flavor is this gum?
Exusiai	White Horse Kohl flavor.
Texas	Croissant, please add this brand of gum to our hazardous materials list.
Croissant	We were runnin' low so I grabbed the new flavor. Didn't notice what it was. Oops.
Emperor	Yo, are we gonna party or what? We got food, we got drinks, where's the tunes?
Exusiai	I'm on it~!
[A jazz music can be heard playing at the bar.]
Bison	I wasn't expecting jazz... even if it's a little...
Exusiai	The previous owner was something of a jazz lover, but after the boss took over we had to make a few style changes.
Sora	A few?
Texas	It's pretty much because the boss's own records all got toasted in that—
Emperor	Enough. Let's not bring back any tragic memories. And besides, nobody asked him to go get sick. Here I am takin' time outta my busy schedule to look after his bar.
Bison	is[sic] it Oripathy? Lungmen's been through a lot. They should've changed the way they look at the Infected...
Emperor	Nah. He picked up an alcohol allergy.
Bison	......
Croissant	He was fixin' to be the greatest bartender in all Lungmen. Fer a feller like that, we call it terminal.
[Several cars can be heard stopping in front of the bar.]
Emperor	We got some party crashers. Yo, get behind the bar if you wanna live.
Croissant	Yessir!
Exusiai	Nice! There's a coin back here.
Sora	Don't squirm around, there's not much room back here—Ow! Watch your halo, Exusiai!
Texas	Stop gawking and get down, Bison.
Bison	Huh? Ah!
Mafioso	Get 'em!
[The mafiosi storms the bar, countless bottles and glasses are shattered in the hail of bolts.]
Croissant	Welp, that's the end of this place.
Bison	Mr. Emperor's still out there. Will he be okay?!
Emperor	Why are these punks still up in my business? Shoot back already, before they completely trash the joint!
Exusiai	Sorry, boss, I'm all out of rubber bullets. Should we go at them with the barstools?
Emperor	Did I not buy a forty of malt liquor and leave it here for just such an occasion?!
Croissant	Um, we just drank the last bottle. All we got left is the top shelf stuff.
Emperor	Use it. I ain't some stuffy old rich man, filling my palaces with fancy show-off booze. Let this liquor show us what it's worth.
Croissant	Huh? But the price on this stuff's higher than—
Emperor	Grab it, hold it in your hand, and remember: aim for the head. Protecting this bar means protecting my land. Come on.
Texas	Exusiai.
Exusiai	Got it! Take a bottle and smash a head. No problem!
Sora	W– wait for me!
[The P.L. crew comes out of the stool and charges at the mafiosi...]
Mafioso	They're charging, watch out! Gah!
[...breaking more expensive bottles in the process...]
Croissant	That's a hundred thousand. Hundred and fifty thousand. Four hundred and fifty thousand. Seven hundred thousand... How much was that one? No! Exusiai! Not that one— agh.
[...and some more.]
Bison	What's... huh...?
Croissant	Tonight's property damage bill. At least you and I got our shields to fight with. Don't want that number gettin' any bigger.
Bison	R- right.
Croissant	Okay~ Three, two, one, go!

After operation

“

Gambino's famiglia is no match for Penguin Logistics when they're going all-out, but the bar is also destroyed in the process. A furious Emperor makes up his mind to settle the score head-on.

”

<Background 1>
[The shootout in the bar abruptly ends when the mafiosi runs out of ammunition and as Gambino shows up.]
Emperor	Well if it ain't a Siracusan stray right here in my lounge. You're all outta crossbow bolts? And I'm still standin'?
Gambino	So this is the Emperor. You come through a rain of arrows still holding your drink. Lucky bastard.
Sora	...Lungmen isn't much for straight up, close-quarters fighting.
Exusiai	If you don't play by the rules, you get kicked out of the game.
Gambino	Rules?
[More mafiosi appears.]
Gambino	By the time the cops get here, all they're gonna find are your splattered corpses, Penguin Logistics.
Bison	...it's all their people out there.
Croissant	They got the back covered too. Looks like this feller's mighty thorough.
Gambino	That coward Capone is too afraid of the Rat King and Wei Yenwu, even if that one might need a thought or two... But you and the Rat King? You ain't worth a second look.
Emperor	Yeah? Is that really what you think? Or you just tryin' to sound scary?
Gambino	I believe it with all my heart, "Mr. Emperor."
Emperor	Croissant, grab me a bottle. Our friend here's got the broke brain. I'm gonna do him a favor and fix it up for him.
Croissant	But baws, not for nothin', we already smashed a couple million Lungmen dollars' worth of booze over here.
Emperor	...and how much were their lives worth?
Croissant	Don't see how it could add up to that much.
Emperor	......
Texas	Are we doing this?
Emperor	Nah. We're keeping the deal we made with Lil Wei. We don't go all out in Lungmen, we don't make trouble, we don't threaten life and limb. Keep it professional. Business is business. But we been on the run for a grand total of five hours today. That's double my normal work day. Double! Not to mention we torched a whole year's worth of goodies! Cars, booze, and my precious vinyl! And now we got some tragic, unanticipated deaths here in my club. What're we gonna do about all this? Hm?
Texas	Understood.
Gambino	Texas. This name of yours displeases me.
Texas	I don't recall knowing any Siracusans like you. But you're about to go running out of Lungmen with your tail between your legs.
Gambino	You're gonna regret slandering my family, Texas. Who here's the stray dog who ran off to Lungmen? You know the truth. You ain't fit to go toe to toe with a Sicilian.
Texas	......
Gambino	That's a good face right, there, Texas! You almost look Siracusan like that!
<Background 2>
Mostima	Wow. This is a surprise. You got called out too?
[A strange-looking humanoid carrying a laptop with him approaches Mostima.]
???	You could say that. But it's honestly a relief to get pulled away from those cocktail parties.
Mostima	Hm. Does a small-time mafia dust-up really deserve such a grand response?
???	No, it doesn't. But it makes for a nice excuse to tear myself away from troublesome social interactions. Croissant has ordered a new custom accessory for her hammer. Exusiai has sought my help in caring for her beloved gun. In short, there is much to be done.
Mostima	Yeah, I might have something for you too.
???	No matter. Assisting my colleagues with such trivialities is one of my duties, in addition to my primary function.
Mostima	Can you look after this staff for me?
???	This white one. You do understand its significance, don't you?
Mostima	Just for tonight. Let me relax a bit and enjoy the Carnival. I can't exactly take it out onto the dance floor with me. I'll lose control.
???	Of course. I will take it. It's my responsibility.
Mostima	Heh. It always comes down to work, huh? Thanks anyway. You want to go for a drink afterwards? It's on me.
???	I would love to. Socializing over drinks with colleagues is vastly more meaningful than the empty social niceties I've endured.
???	But I'm afraid, looking at these movements, it may be a challenge to save The Ends of the Earth.
Mostima	...So, did you just get in to Lungmen? How much do you know about what's gone on tonight?
???	Everything. The threads that make up this year's Carnival are uncomplicated. The tapestry is abundantly clear to me.
Mostima	Are you not going to help?
???	I am not. I will leave the physical labor to your youthful vigor, look after your items, enjoy a cup of tea, and wait for the situation to resolve itself. Right then. The Rat King is waiting for you. Do please enjoy yourself.
Mostima	You too, Yith. It's Sauin. It only comes once a year. Don't work yourself too hard. Anyway, I'm out.
Yith	...Sauin? Oh my. I was supposed to take off for Sauin. And here I am working overtime like always... what a dreadful waste. But at least, now that she's entrusted you to me, we can reminisce about the good old days, my old friend. Mm. It's nice to grip you in my hand like this. No complaining.
<Background 1>
[The mafiosi fights the P.L. crew...]
Texas	You have nowhere to run.
Gambino	*Pant pant* Texas, you got the skills to match your name... Your Family—
Texas	Shut up.
[...who fights back quite well.]
Exusiai	Texaaas~ I've taken out more than you~
Sora	But Texas is holding down their leader. That's gotta be worth at least three?
Exusiai	Wha? So I'm losing?
Croissant	Naw. Nobody else is even countin'. Oh, we still got a bottle over here. Lemme check the price tag. That's one, two, three... seven! Seven zeroes! Thank you, Lady Luck!
Mafioso	What're you scared of? There's only five of 'em!
Emperor	No cliches in my club, please!
[Emperor threw a bottle at the mafioso.]
Mafioso	Gah! My head... nng...
Emperor	And you didn't even count me. There's six of us.
Bison	Six Penguin Logistics employees against an entire armed mob... and the logistics firm wins...? ...that's kinda weird, isn't it?
Croissant	Ain't nothin' weird about that. When it comes to team fights, we're the best in Lungmen! Long as the numbers ain't too different.
Gambino	Gah!
[Texas holds Gambino at swordpoint.]
Texas	You lost. Give up.
Gambino	Lost? Give up? Hah. Are you really THE "Texas?" When Sicilians cross swords, there ain't no winning or losing, there's only life or death. You must regret not biting the bullet and finishing the job!
Mafioso	Fire in the hole!
Texas	Grrr! Take cover!
[The mafiosi threw grenades at the bar...]
Bison	Aagh! Another bomb!
[...whose detonation covers up their retreat.]
<Background fades out and in>
Texas	...... ...we let them get away again.
Exusiai	Should we go after them?
Texas	No. I may have underestimated them a bit. Even if they're a bunch of losers who ran off to Lungmen, they're still Sicilian mobsters.
Sora	Texas, are you hurt?! L– let me take care of you.
Texas	It's not deep, don't worry.
Sora	I'm worrying! Sit down. I'll get the first aid kit...
Bison	Sicilians... what's a Sicilian anyway? Is it a kind of Siracusan?
Texas	The Sicilian Union is one of the origins of Siracusa's Twelve Families. It was the first city to turn to violence to achieve its goals. It's where we get the word "Sicilian" in Siracusan. But these days... the word has kind of a different meaning... it's pretty rare for a Siracusan to actually call herself a "Sicilian." They're not as strong as they used to be... for a whole bunch of reasons. But if they still call themselves that... well...
Exusiai	Breathe, Texas, breathe. You're wearing yourself out talking that much. The main point is it's a way for wannabe dangerous mobsters to tell everybody they think they're dangerous mobsters, right?
Texas	...yeah.
Bison	We can't let them keep ambushing us like this. Our losses are only going to get worse. We have to hit back, we need a...
Emperor	Hold up. Just everybody hold the eff up. What excuse do you think I can give to my dumbass alcohol allergic bartender friend to explain what happened to his place?
Croissant	Um... is there an explanation...? At least the stool yer sittin' on's in great shape there, boss.
Emperor	All we got left's one barstool?
Sora	Yes... that one barstool.
Emperor	...Aight. Broken bottles, shot up walls, and tattered velvet got its own unique vibe to it. Yeah. This is my new renovation, redecoratin' the joint!
Exusiai	Noooo way. Nobody's going to buy that.
Croissant	We prob'ly just gotta pay him back for all the damages, huh? Aaagh. Looks like we're gonna hafta tighten our belts at Penguin Logistics fer a while.
Texas	Plus the whole place stinks of alcohol. And I'm all sticky. At least it's disinfecting my wounds.
Sora	Don't be stupid, you can't use wine as a disinfectant! Here, I've got some medical alcohol... why is there a straw? N– never mind. Here, Texas, let me apply it...
Emperor	...I had another idea. If these punks gotta come at us on Sauin... Then we gotta send 'em peacefully to the afterlife.