Absinthe: Finding Life Through Death
< Absinthe
| Operator Record Finding Life Through Death |
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| Die or live? It's not even a question. Unlock conditions
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| Characters |
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 Intermittent Voice Faint Voice Fuzzy Voice Medic Operator |
| Backgrounds |
 1  2  3 |
Summary During a rescue mission, Absinthe finds herself trapped in a cave-in and must work with Rosa to escape. Unexpectedly, she finds herself confronting the truth behind her partner's seemingly strong convictions.
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| <Background 1> | |
|---|---|
| Underground Ruins | |
| [Communicator buzzing] | |
| Absinthe | This is... Rhodes Island Operator... |
| [Button click] | |
| Absinthe | Repeat... This is Rhodes Island Operator Absinthe... and Operator Rosa. About two and a half hours ago, we got separated from our team during a Catastrophe evacuation in the Ursine borderlands and fell into a sinkhole... Currently, we have no casualties. The coordinates of our last position are... |
| [Button click, communicator buzzing] | |
| Absinthe | ... Do you read me? Come in. ... I still can't reach anyone. Maybe I should try another spot— |
| ??? | What are you doing standing up? |
| [Footsteps approach] | |
| Rosa | You should sit down and rest. Your leg... |
| Absinthe | Natalya. You've been gone thirty minutes. Have you found anything? |
| Rosa | Unfortunately, no. I haven't found anything that will help us out of here. But you're right. It's a naturally-formed karst cave further in. The light is shining down from above on a much deeper part of the hole, and not in a straight line. We can't leave through the cave, and the opening above is too far up. We probably won't be able to escape without help. |
| Absinthe | Sounds like it's more or less the same situation as here. Okay, thanks for checking. |
| Rosa | No need to thank me! On the contrary, I should be thanking you. That reminds me, Absinthe, are you feeling better? How is your wound? I learned some first-aid procedures when I worked in the Logistics Department. I can check if the bleeding has stopped and change your bandages. |
| Absinthe | I'm okay... |
| Rosa | Don't be so quick to turn me down. You are injured because you helped me, and you guided me out of the areas affected by the aftershocks. This much is nothing. |
| <Flashback starts here> | |
| <Background 2> | |
| [Heavy footsteps] | |
| Rosa | The east side's evacuated. No more civilians in the area! |
| Absinthe | The last family at the bottom of the hill has gotten away. We don't have much time. We need to get out as soon as we can, or the Catastrophe—— |
| [Ground crumbling] | |
| Absinthe | Watch out! |
| Rosa | Ah! Absinthe! |
| Absinthe | Hold on tight! |
| <Background fades out> | |
| Absinthe | Ugh... Ah. |
| Absinthe groans at the intense pain in her leg, but she quickly manages to bring her breathing under control and forces herself to shift her attention to her surroundings. Her glimpse into the darkness yields no information whatsoever. | |
| Absinthe | I can't see very well. There will be aftershocks. We need to move to a safer location. Ugh—my light sticks aren't here... Ro... Natalya! Can you hear me? Natalya? |
| Absinthe takes her hand. Her palm is still warm. Fortunately, the two of them are still together despite the fall. However, Rosa is not responding. | |
| Rosa | ... |
| Absinthe | Is she out? The stench of blood... and it's sticky... She's bleeding from her head. A head injury... We need to move somewhere bright enough that I can see. (Lightly knocks on the fallen wall) |
| A hollow echo can be heard through the collapsed walls and beams. It causes the chaos in her head to dissipate. She closes her eyes and blinks. Slowly, her vision starts to clear. | |
| Absinthe | Come on, come on... At least take me somewhere safer. |
| Absinthe props up her unconscious friend and starts moving in the direction of a faint glow. | |
| <Background 1> | |
| Absinthe | I did what I was supposed to do. Any other Rhodes Islander would've done the same. All I did was help my teammate to a space that's more structurally sound to buy ourselves time for a rescue... It's standard procedure. Besides, like the wound on your head, my leg injury isn't serious. It's just a flesh wound, my bleeding has stopped. And I don't have any broken bones. There's no need for first aid. Really, it's nothing. |
| Rosa | ... Then... what about the comms? |
| Absinthe | I still haven't been able to reach anyone outside. Besides, we don't have much battery left. We can't keep it turned on the whole time in hopes of catching a signal. We'll have to try again later. |
| Rosa | Is there anything else I can do right now? |
| Absinthe | All we can do is wait. |
| Rosa | Alright... ... |
| Absinthe | If there's something you want to ask, go right ahead. |
| Rosa | Is it that obvious? I'm just wondering... the mother and child who lived at the bottom of the mountain... the ones we evacuated last... Did they really get out safely? The earthquake came so suddenly... Also, if we really can't reach anyone, what are we going to do? |
| Absinthe | First, before I regrouped with you, I made sure they evacuated to safety. Second, if we can't reach anyone on our own, they'll notice we're missing when they take a head count and send a search team. This is all standard procedure. Just like I told you before. |
| Rosa | Right. Have you always been so dependable? |
| Absinthe | What do you mean...? |
| Rosa | You're very dependable. It's like no hardship can slow you. I don't think I'd know what to do, if I'd ended up here by myself. |
| Absinthe | I'm sure you'd be fine. |
| Rosa | Why is that? |
| Absinthe | Remember Chernobog? If you really didn't know what to do, how would you have gotten out of that place, that situation, alive? This can't compare to that. |
| Rosa | How did you— Oh, right. I forgot you're from Chernobog, too. Of course. I did things I'm not proud of in order to survive, but I did get a lot of help from the others. |
| Absinthe | That's exactly why I don't understand why you came back. |
| Rosa | Care to elaborate? |
| Absinthe | You could've gotten out safely, but you chose to come back and help us evacuate the villagers who refused to leave. Operators without search-and-rescue experience should've evacuated with the crew before the Catastrophe came instead of staying. If I wasn't able to save you, or if we don't actually make it out of this place... Everything you did to stay alive and everything everybody did to help you will have been for nothing. |
| Rosa | That's true, but... if I always choose to leave, I'll always be the inexperienced rookie, won't I? I'll always be stuck in the same place, never able to help more people. I want to be like the rest of you and do more... That's also why I chose to work out here on the front lines instead of staying with Logistics. |
| Absinthe | You can't let that push you into danger before you're ready. You have to treasure your own life. (Whispers) Seriously, what would the people who helped you, even gave their lives for you, say about this...? |
| Rosa | Care to elaborate? |
| Absinthe | ... Never mind. |
| Rosa | You didn't finish. Why? |
| Absinthe | Just leave it. This isn't something I should be worrying about. I shouldn't have said anything. It's been some time already. Let me find another spot and try the comms again. |
| [Footsteps] | |
| [Button click, communicator buzzes] | |
| Absinthe | ... This is Rhodes Island Operator Absinthe and Operator Rosa. I repeat, this is Rhodes Island Operator... |
| [Static noise] | |
| Rosa | Maybe hold it up higher? |
| Absinthe | I'm trying— |
| [Static noise] | |
| Intermittent Voice | —Probe— —*buzz*— |
| Absinthe | Huh?! Hello? This is Rhodes Island Operator Absinthe and Operator Rosa! We got separated from our team during a Catastrophe evacuation in the Ursine borderlands and fell into a sinkhole! Our last known position is— |
| Intermittent Voice | —*buzz*— |
| Absinthe | Hello? Do you read me? Our last known position is 61.700.20.450— Hello? |
| [Static noise] | |
| Absinthe | Gavno! We'd finally got a signal...! |
| Rosa | If we got a signal, that means there are others nearby. Let me take the communicator inside the cave. I might get a better signal where the light is shining through from above. |
| Absinthe | The cave... Let's go together. |
| Rosa | But what about your injury? |
| Absinthe | I told you. I'm fine. Given the circumstances, we should stick together. Let's go. |
| Rosa | Let me help you. It'll be easier on your leg... |
| Absinthe | I'm good. |
| Absinthe lightly shakes her head and avoids the hand reaching out to her. The girl before her is strong enough to lift a massive siege weapon. Of course she could help a lightly injured Absinthe up. Accepting her help to move forward would be the most reasonable choice right now. However, for some reason, Absinthe is unwilling to take it. | |
| Absinthe | I said I'm good. |
| Rosa | Hm, alright. Now then, let's go. |
| <Background 3> | |
| Rosa | This way... I found this place when I was following the edge to see if I could find a path out. Look, a stone block that's just the right size for standing on. It'll get us a little closer to the source, although there's still some distance from the top. In any case, wait here for a moment. I'll simply climb up— |
| Absinthe | Be careful— |
| [Rosa jumps up.] | |
| Rosa | —Right! Please hand me the communicator. |
| Absinthe | Do you remember the coordinates? |
| Rosa | Certainly, very clearly. But... Hm? How do I turn this on? It looks somewhat different from the ones I've used before. |
| Absinthe | Oops... I modded that one myself. The channel's tuned. Press the rectangular button on the bottom to turn it on. |
| [Button click, communicator buzzes] | |
| Rosa | Hello? |
| Faint Voice | —*buzz*— |
| Rosa | I can hear something! Does that mean I've got a signal? |
| Absinthe | There is definitely a signal. Now give your report like I taught you. |
| Rosa | A—Alright. This is Rhodes Island Operator Absinthe and Operator Rosa. We got separated from our team during a Catastrophe evacuation in the Ursine borderlands and fell into a sinkhole... Our last position is 61.700.20.450. Repeat, our last position— |
| Fuzzy Voice | Hello? Do you read me? This is— —Catastrophe Messenger—Hello? |
| Absinthe | If you can hear them, say yes, and repeat the coordinates. |
| Rosa | Yes, we can hear you! This is Rhodes Island Operators Absinthe and Rosa. We need assistance. Our last known position is 61.700.20.450! |
| Fuzzy Voice | —Roger— Stay where— —Wait— |
| [Static noise] | |
| Rosa | I... Sorry, I couldn't hear what he said in the end. |
| Absinthe | It's okay. As long as you gave them the coordinates, you're halfway there. We should head back to where we were. It's more structurally sound there. The two aftershocks didn't damage it much. It'll be safer for us to wait for rescue. The transmission got cut off again. The Catastrophe likely hasn't passed. The most important thing right now is to make sure we're safe until the rescue team gets here. |
| <Background 1> | |
| [Footsteps] | |
| Absinthe | Judging by the time, they should be here soon. I left a marker where we first stopped. Do you see a red cloth? |
| Rosa | I don't, but I have two light sticks here. Let's light them up. |
| Absinthe | Give me one. |
| [Absinthe lifts her hand then pauses.] | |
| Absinthe | ... |
| Rosa | What's wrong? |
| Absinthe | No, we'll save it for later. We don't know when exactly the rescue will get here. Let's not use up our resources before then. |
| [Footsteps] | |
| Absinthe | And I remember it should be around here... |
| [Ground shakes] | |
| Absinthe | What...? —Aftershock! Gavno! |
| Rosa | Absinthe, you— |
| Absinthe | Stay there! Get down, and put your hands on the back of your head! Do it! |
| [Rocks tumbling] | |
| <Background fades out> | |
| Absinthe | Ugh... *cough*! The damage isn't serious, but... It blocked off the light source. The pipes and beams probably didn't get damaged any— Natalya? Natalya, what's wrong? Can you hear me? |
| The only response she gets is the settling dust and the sound of someone's slowly intensifying breathing. | |
| ??? | *huff*... *whimper*... |
| Absinthe | Hey, I can hear you. Here, give me your hand. Oh, you're holding a light stick. That's good. |
| <Background 1> | |
| Absinthe | You... |
| In the faint glow, Absinthe sees the other girl still bracing herself, curled up not too far away. There is some rubble and dust on her back, but she is apparently unwounded. The wailing just now could not have been her. ...Right? | |
| Rosa | Ugh... Ahhh...! |
| Absinthe | Natalya! Wow, you're shaking a lot. Where are you hurt? I can help you—ugh—the rescuers will be here soon. Hang in there! |
| Rosa | —Kill me— Just kill me! |
| Absinthe | What? Does it... does it hurt that bad? Why would you say that? |
| Rosa | No... Please... I beg you... help me... |
| Absinthe | I need to know where you're hurt to help you, but you keep avoiding me. I can't— |
| Rosa | I... I... *whimper*... |
| Absinthe | Natalya. |
| Absinthe grabs and holds the girl curled up on the ground. Finally, the girl lets go of her head and raises it to stare up into the darkness. What is going on with her? A large number of questions are bombarding Absinthe's brain. | |
| Absinthe | What's... ...wrong? |
| Rosa | *sob*... I... No... No— Please... I beg you... Don't leave me here... No... |
| Absinthe | I won't leave you behind. Ever. So, tell me— |
| Rosa | No... |
| Absinthe | If you don't tell me anything, how am I supposed to help you? |
| Rosa | I can't see. I can't see! I can't see anything... |
| Absinthe | You can't see...? Are your eyes hurt? Or maybe your head? Is there a blood clot pressing against your nerves? Stay still and don't move. I need to see— |
| Rosa | No... |
| The girl keeps murmuring deliriously. There are no reflections of anyone in her eyes. It is easily noticeable if Absinthe raises the light stick to take a better look. | |
| Absinthe | Your eyes don't look like they're focusing, but there don't seem to be any new wounds on your head... Are you hurt anywhere else? What caused this? Slow down. Tell me as clearly as you can. |
| Rosa | No... |
| Absinthe | No? Why not? |
| Rosa | ... Look at what I'm saying... I think... Maybe you should just kill me. |
| Absinthe | ... Why? |
| Rosa | Kill me... |
| Absinthe | Why do you keep saying that?! |
| Absinthe takes a harsh step back. The dust trembles violently in the air, just like her emotions. | |
| Absinthe | Was everything... everything we talked about a lie? |
| Rosa | Yes... |
| Absinthe | You said you wanted to live and help even more people. That was a lie? |
| Rosa | Yes, it was! |
| Absinthe | What?! |
| Rosa | So kill me already! The same way you set that fire! Rather than suffering through life like this, I'd rather die a quick death. Just like the people who died because of me. They... They wouldn't want me to live. You don't need me to live either, do you? Just take that axe of yours and give me a good chop right here... |
| Absinthe watches the girl forcefully slide her hand across her neck. She cannot stop her in time, and the light is too dim for her to check if the girl is hurt. | |
| Rosa | Just like that. It'll be quick. |
| Absinthe doesn't understand any of this. She thinks she can hear something slowly fracturing, even if that's practically impossible in this moment. \nThere is nobody else here. The fracture could only form between the two of them. \nAmid the silence, Absinthe walks up to Rosa and sits her upright. | |
| Absinthe | Phew... |
| Rosa | I ask only this one thing. And you won't even grant me that? |
| Absinthe | I don't know... I don't know what's going on with you, but I heard what you said, and I can't pretend I didn't. Your life isn't yours alone, and neither is mine. |
| Her sanity keeps her from saying what she wants to say. However, the very next second, she casts her sanity aside. | |
| Absinthe | Our lives belong to those who are forever left behind. |
| Rosa | I'm begging you... |
| Absinthe | Too many people died in Chernobog. Did you ever read the after-action report? I did. Even though I could never count all the tiny names written on that list, I still counted them over and over... I found Uncle Valery's name, and... I found my father's name. He went to Peterheim, and he lost his life there. I don't know what exactly happened. I could only guess and keep watching Peterheim survivors like you, to try to get an answer... to... |
| Rosa | What are you...? |
| Absinthe | ...to what exactly my father gave his life for. What was there in you that was worthy of his sacrifice? I want to know. I need to know... But I don't have an answer! I haven't been able to find it—that's why I was going to give up, until you— Until you moved from Logistics to the front lines and showed up on a mission like this, all of a sudden... I thought you'd begun to move forward, but have you, actually? No. You haven't. |
| Rosa | Kill me... |
| Absinthe | Enough of that! I'm not going to kill you! If you've made your choice, then how come you— |
| Rosa | ... |
| Absinthe | How come you still don't cherish your life?! |
| Rosa | I'm begging you... |
| Absinthe | If you really want to die, then fine. After we get out of here, when no one is looking, you'll have lots of ways to go about it— |
| Rosa | Kill me, Sonya. |
| Absinthe | —Suit yourself...? |
| Rosa | Just... kill me. Don't... Don't leave me alive in this place... |
| Absinthe | ... |
| Rosa | There's... nothing here. |
| <Background fades out> | |
| Rosa | *sob*... |
| Absinthe | "Sonya..." That's not my name. Where— Where do you think you are right now? Chernobog? Peterheim? You... ... |
| Absinthe finally understands everything. She keeps quiet, and snaps the last light stick to activate it. Then, she asks a question that will go unanswered. | |
| <Background 1> | |
| Absinthe | If... If you haven't gotten over your trauma, why did you apply to come to the front lines and put yourself in danger? Couldn't you have guessed...? ...that things might get this ugly? |
| Absinthe grasps Rosa's arm. She squeezes tightly, and then as tight as she can to burn the heat of her palm in. Thanks to this sudden, painful grasp, the panicking girl suffers an intense jerk. She blinks. | |
| Rosa | ...Where...? ...Where am I? Is this what the school cafeteria... looked like? No, I don't remem— |
| Absinthe | No. You're not in Chernobog anymore. |
| Rosa | Where am I? Who are you? |
| Absinthe | You are somewhere underground. I'm Rhodes Island Operator Absinthe. |
| Rosa | Underground? Why? |
| Absinthe | Because you want to save more people. |
| Rosa | I... |
| Absinthe | Right now, we need to find a way out of this place. If you can hear me, close your eyes and follow me. Take a deep breath. I'll get you out of here. |
| Absinthe takes a deep breath and answers as such. \nAt first, the panicking girl does not understand the meaning behind this action, but after Absinthe repeats it again and again— \nFinally, she slowly starts to move. | |
| Rosa | Phew... *huff*... *phew*... |
| In that small space, the sound of their breathing is deafening. | |
| Rosa | Huff—Ugh— *cough* *cough*! |
| Absinthe | How are you feeling now? |
| Rosa | Uhh... Absinthe...? What... happened to me? Was I crying? Why...? I'm so sorry about that... |
| Absinthe | It's okay. It only took a little time. We should try contacting the outside again. |
| <Background fades out and in> | |
| [Static noise] | |
| Absinthe | This is Rhodes Island Operator Absinthe and Operator Rosa. Our last position is 61.700.20.450. Repeat... This is Rhodes Island Operator Absinthe and Operator Rosa. |
| ??? | Huh? There seems to be a transmission coming in— Hello? Hello? This is the Rhodes Island Catastrophe Rescue Team. Please report your coordinates— |
| Absinthe | We got through... Our last known position is 61.700.20.450. I recommend checking the fallen plate to the west. There are two of us. We're... hanging in there. Na... Rosa, knock on the steel pipe next to you, use the beat I taught you before. |
| [Loud knocking] | |
| Rosa | Two light knocks, one heavy one... Like this? |
| Absinthe | Right. |
| ??? | The coordinates and the rescue signal we got earlier are a match... The infrared detector shows... Th—They're close by! —Hello? Can you hear us? If you can hear us, use the frequency just now and knock on the steel pipe to answer us— |
| Help has arrived. Absinthe looks up to the source of the voice, as Rosa continues to knock on the steel pipe repeatedly. | |
| [Loud knocking] | |
| ??? | There's someone here! Right around the coordinates we got! Should be them— Hold on, we'll get you two out right away. Stay put and don't move... If you read me, knock on the pipe! |
| Absinthe | (Knocks) |
| ??? | Okay, okay. Hold on— |
| [Static noise] | |
| Rosa | *huff*... You're hurt. You should get rescued first. I'm in better shape. I'll be fine. |
| Absinthe | ... Okay. |
| |
| [Footsteps] | |
| Even though she has long known that the joy of surviving a precarious situation is not nearly as intense as the books make it out to be, Absinthe nonetheless feels a sense of bewilderment. Below clouds spreading through the skies like wildfire, she takes in the fleeting emotions like a breath. | |
| Medic Operator | Confirming Operator Absinthe's condition... Initial Diagnosis: Minor injuries. Rescue successful. Please rest up and don't do anything strenuous. Once we rescue Operator Rosa, we'll help you with your leg— —Operator Absinthe? |
| Absinthe | Let me help. |
| Medic Operator | What? You shouldn't be movin— Oh. |
| [Absinthe walks over and extends her arm.] | |
| Rosa | Huh? Absinthe? Your injury— |
| Absinthe | I'm fine. Give me your hand. I'll pull you up. Operator Rosa. |